Standards

May 16, 2008

I’ve been thinking about who I will/won’t date, and right away, I’ve got some big no-no’s. A girl’s gotta have standards:

I will not date a man with a ponytail.
I will not date a man who lives with Mom and Dad.
I will not date a man who drives a pickup.
I will not date a man who likes Nascar.
I will not date a man who has no job.
I will not date a man I cannot laugh with.
I will not date a man who doesn’t open my door.
I will not date a man who takes more time than me to get ready.
I will not date a man who doesn’t appreciate me.
I will not date a man who can’t have fun and sing and be silly with me.
I will not date a man who can’t grow facial hair.
I will not date a man who is shorter than me.
I will not date a man who is fickle, indecisive, unreliable, and doesn’t appear to have a pair.
I will not date a man who doesn’t respect me or my family.
I will not date a man who likes the Geico caveman.
I will not date a man who enjoys WWF or whatever that wrestling crap is.

That’s just a start. Got any more I should add?

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3 comments

  1. yes... I was serious about the Amish thing.

    You definately have a good start here; I would add something about he has to be named Tony and teach skiing lessons and have a sexy accent, dark brown eyes, and a hybrid car. Oh, and he has to be able to ride a horse. Bareback. Naked.

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  2. haha. you'd better be careful. i said i would never be interested in anyone who is a football fanatic & look what happened to me. also, he drives a pickup truck. :)

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  3. What?? No ponytail? Nah ... you are definitely a lady who loves a flowing ponytail. Neigh! Neigh!

    A pickup is okay, and a non-obsessed Nascar fan is all right (after all, your former roommate ... moi ... is never opposed to a little racin' every now and again). But you should definitely add to your list that the man in question should appreciate, if not flat out adore, Arrested Development. Even if he has never watched it until he meets you.

    --alicia

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