Sometimes balance is hard.

That's the season I'm in right now.

Man, life is busy.

And that from a person who really strives to say no to things.

I'm really happy to be doing some things that I enjoy tremendously.  I'm now in charge of Women's Ministry at our church.  This still cracks me up.

I'm also on the planning team for my weekly mamas' group.


I also plan the Moms' Night Out events for that.

I'm entering my 2nd year serving on the team from our church that serves a local elementary school.  I somehow slipped into the role of interim leader...  I'm trying to get out of that, but it's taking awhile since there is no other interim leader.  I'd be happiest just getting to do my little things to encourage the teachers.  Last year we I did handwritten notes of encouragement and Bible verses to all the staff.  I put together little cups of flavored hot cocoa for them.

Go ahead - click on the pic to read the cheesy note!

I obtained gift cards for the staff for a local pretzel shop and a local coffee house.  We also did little treats and notes around Thanksgiving, as well as cards for Christmas and Easter.  And then there was the ice cream party I organized for the whole school of 500.

Trunk full of ice cream

The more involved I am, the more I realize what I truly enjoy doing and the more I try to embrace those things.  I am an encourager.  I am a planner.  I create cute things and cute events.  I write.  I blog.  I mother.

And with mothering a now pre-schooler, there comes a whole new set of responsibilities to manage.  Paying monthly tuition (gulp!), keeping track of special days, parties, assignments (show and tell of an object starting with the first letter of your name, for example), in addition to remembering to pick her up on time (I'm gonna have to set an alarm on my phone).

So, things feel a little full right now.

We're taking a break from gymnastics.  This makes me sad, but I also know we need some sanity around here.

Josh and Catherine are attending Wednesday night church, while I'm taking a break and trying to use that time to work on some of the above ministry tasks.

Josh wanted us to attend a new Sunday School class, but I had to say, "My plate is full.  You can attend it without me if you'd like."

I'm trying to find more crock-pot recipes to help with the busyness of it all.  Tonight's meal is bourbon chicken over rice (Note to self:  make sure we have enough rice!).  When I pinned and suggested it, I assumed Josh would be making it.  So when I was putting it all together this morning, I had to text Josh with about half a dozen questions. I'm so grateful my husband is one who does a ton around the house and doesn't complain when I don't!

Sometimes I just have to force myself to say, "Ok, task #14 didn't get done today.  I can't do everything.  I have to be ok with that.  Tomorrow is a new day.  We'll work on task #14 tomorrow.  I'll enlist the help of a grandparent or two to entertain Catherine while I can accomplish some things."

It helps when I feel less stressed and more organized.  There is peace that comes with being prepared.  So, since that was yesterday when task #14 didn't get done, I'd better go do it now!

Just for fun, some random things about me.  Maybe some you know, maybe some you don't.

1.  My favorite time is 12:34.
2.  My least favorite time is 12:35.
3.  I was born at 12:35 AM.
4. I think 4 is the ideal amount of children to have.
5. I can barely handle having 1 child.
6.  I'm not good with numbers.
7.  I don't like going a day without coffee.
8.  My husband and I went on two honeymoons.
9.  My husband and I had a science class together in college but didn't actually meet until years later via eharmony.  Crazy, huh?!
10.  I love Oriental food and grew up eating with chopsticks.
11. As a child, we had two different Asian students live with our family for awhile.
12.  One summer during college, I worked with foreign exchange students from China.
13.  I did 3 months of student teaching in Okinawa, Japan at the same school where my dad taught many years prior.
14.  I've never been stung by a bee.
15.  I've never been on a roller coaster.
16.  My memory is so bad I can usually watch a movie two or three times and still be surprised by the ending.
17.  Shakespeare makes me fall asleep.
18.  I wake up with a headache if I sleep in too much.
19.  I have a degree in Elementary Education.
20.  I rarely watch TV.
21.  I don't like mushrooms - taste OR texture!
22.  I wear makeup only a couple times a year.
23.  I can name all the Presidents in order.
24.  I have a collection of cookbooks but rarely cook.
25.  I'm 36 (I think - see #6 above), and I still don't know what to do with my life.

Josh is on Spring Break.

We spent yesterday at his folks, today at my folks along with my brother and his family.  Catherine got to do an Easter egg hunt with her cousins at my parents' church.

 

 
Tomorrow is breakfast and Easter service at our church.  Josh will help make the breakfast with other men at the church.

After church we are hosting "Easter Breakfast" - for lunch.  I will throw together a fruit salad.  We'll have an egg casserole, and the traditional Slovenian dishes from my husband's side of the family:  a sweet bread called poteca:

Our first loaf of poteca, so long ago

And a platter with cold hard boiled eggs, ham, kielbasa and horseradish.  Unique, huh?  As far as I know it doesn't have a name, so we just call it "Easter breakfast."

My first introduction to his extended family was Easter up North six years ago I believe (I'm not too good with dates and numbers and particulars).  I was asked if I wanted horseradish on my serving of "Easter breakfast".  I said, "Sure" and there was an immediate uproar of joyous acceptance into the family.

Our first Easter together

There will be horseradish tomorrow.

I went to a really awesome Women's Retreat last week.  And it's got me thinking a lot about the expectations of being a "good mom" or a "perfect wife" or a "Proverbs 31 woman".

• own a big house
• invite people over often
• clean that big house
• make meals
• make healthy meals
• organic, gluten free, GMO free meals
• no fast food
• meal plan
• make freezer meals
• make meals for others
• bake coookies
• keep a full cookie jar
• have clear kitchen counters
• have granite countertops
• serve in the church
• nursery duty Sunday
• nursery duty Wednesday
• attend Bible study
• host Bible study
• attend small group
• host small group
• have daily devotions
• have daily family devotions
• have daily devotions with husband
• have a happy marriage
• have lots of sex
• have lots of children
• sacrificially give up sleep
• sew
• own a minivan
• drive other people's kids around
• take the neighborhood to church
• take the church to the neighborhood
• serve the less fortunate
• make memories for child(ren)
• have craft time with child
• give up coffee
• go to bed early
• get up early
• exercise
• daily laundry
• mop
• wear an apron
• wear makeup
• wear heels
• have nice matching furniture that isn't second-hand or stained
• have a queen or king sized bed
• . . .

It keeps going and going.
It's enough to make me crumble.
And weep.
And give up.

Because [clearly] I can't do it all.

The question I keep coming back to is "Where do these expectations come from?"

God never called me to be Super Woman.  He's the One I say I live for and care about.  Then why am I stressing about doing all these other things that He's never called me to do?

One point our speaker made at the retreat is that God's not calling me to do, do, do.  He's calling me to be.

To be His daughter.  To be in His presence.

Look at the Bible passage about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42.
Oh, this story has always made me squirm.

Because, like Martha, I'm a doer.  I think of all the work that needs to be done.  And I try to do it.  And then I get ticked off when others aren't doing their fair share.

In this passage, Martha is feeling the same way.  And Jesus totally calls her out on it, and says she can stop trying to do it all.  He never asked her to do it all.  In fact He doesn't want her to do it all.  He wants her to just be.  To sit at His feet and to be with Him.

Oh, Lord, can I do that?  Is it possible to overlook the messy house and the overflowing baskets of laundry and the over-scheduled calendar to focus on what You have truly called me to do??



My friend Lisa-Jo just wrote about NOT Doing It All.  Her honesty was much appreciated and needed.  The part that impacted me the most was kind of some behind-the-scenes information.  The "story behind the photo" if you will.

A couple days prior she had posted a photo of her sweet kiddos all lined up in a row, sitting nicely on the couch, all happy and well fed with bowls of food in their laps.  It was cute.  Of course.


Then I found out the story behind the photo:  Lisa-Jo had just gotten home from traveling out of town for a few days to a conference where she was a speaker.  Though she was delighted to be home and with her kids again, she was also exhausted.  She got Chinese take-out, put it in bowls, lined them up on the couch with dinner and Netflix while she napped.

Can I get a "Hallelujah" for a nap?
Can I get a "Hallelujah" for such honesty?
Can I get a "Hallelujah" for takeout and tv for those moments when we just can't do it all and we need to be real and ok with that?

Another friend's husband recently posted "Judging by my facebook feed, if you haven't taken your kids to an apple orchard or a pumpkin patch yet this fall, you're a horrible parent."  Though obviously tongue-in-cheek, it puts into explicit words what we may be feeling tinges of when we compare our lives to those showing up in our newsfeed.

I can't allow others' snippets of life and snapshots momentarily on display to decide the expectations of my day-to-day reality.

Lord, help me to know what YOU expect of me.  May I strive for only the things that bring glory to you.

1. I believe... in forgiveness and second chances.
2. The first concert I attended was... Johnny Cash.
3. It's important to have... friends.
4. I would love to go... back to Portland (Maine).
5. If I had more time... I'd get my home organized, but I'd need more energy too.
6. I like to... sleep.  (In case you didn't catch that whole VerySleepyGirl name of this blog)
7. Some of my proudest achievements are... student teaching overseas, moving to the west coast, and moving back home to the Midwest.
8. When I was a teenager... I made my parents' lives miserable.
9. Someday I would love to... get our upstairs bathroom painted.
10. My favorite thing to bake is... crepes currently.  Or would that be considered cooking?  I don't know.  Do you bake crepes or cook crepes?
11. What you don't know about me is... how badly I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life.
12. I once had a part-time job... babysitting at age 10.  I was so not mature enough for that!
13. I am currently working... for free.
14. My favorite celebrity meeting was... Mario Lopez!!
15. I like to drink... coffee every morning.
16. My favorite movie idol is... Julie Andrews.  "The hills are alive!!!!!"
17. My favorite flowers are... colorful and bright and vibrant and long-lasting!
18. I like to snack on... sweet and salty combos.
19. My favorite TV show is... currently Fixer Upper on HGTV.  I really don't want much TV, and we don't get HGTV, so...
20. I met my husband... officially in let's see here... um, working backwards, we were married in 2010, so... um, let's see, engaged in 2009, so 2008 I guess.  Is that right, sweetie?  (I'm not good with numbers/dates/facts)
21. I would love to have dinner with... a bunch of old friends at a backyard barbeque.  Oh, that may come true here shortly...
22. My favorite color is... blue in varying shades - mostly aqua and navy.
23. I enjoy... sleeping writing.
24. I attended... Christian schools almost entirely.
25. I am a huge fan of... Candace Cameron.
26. I collect... colanders.  For decoration.  Or as Catherine would say, "For pretend."
27. I appeared... as an extra in a movie.
28. I also collect... travel size toiletries from hotels.  Ha!
29. My favorite fruit is... fruit pizza!  No, seriously, I love lots of different fruits - honeydew, blueberries, kiwi, strawberries, grapes, bananas, peaches, etc.  But I also do love a good fruit pizza!
30. My go-to beauty product is... Burt's Bees lip balm.  That's as close as I get to "beauty products."
31. In 2009 I... went to Arkansas, Nevada, California, and Texas.
32. I recently... went through South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington for the first time.
33. I am inspired by... Pinterest.
34. I wear glasses... every day since 8th grade.
35. In 1997 I... went to New York City with my high school classmates.
36. I work out... used to work out at Curves and later a gym.
37. I'm a terrible... cook.
38. What I love about America is... how much there is to experience.
39. My secret snack... is anything after Catherine is asleep.
40. I adore... rain when I don't have to go out in it.
41. It's been a really long time since... I got my hair cut.  I was seriously contemplating pigtails the other day.
42. I'm so thankful for... a dishwasher in our kitchen.  Especially after seven years without!  Good things come to those who wait.
43. I don't want to... own a red car.  Too much attention from police.
44. I once forgot... how to spell "world."  This was last week.
45. I have... a great guy (my husband - just to clarify in case you were thinking Mario Lopez).
46. I wish I had... disposable income.
47. I don't know how to... play chess.  I once started reading a book on how to play chess.  I don't think I made it past the first page.
48. Yesterday I... ate a yummy Asian sesame chicken salad.
49. Tomorrow I... will get up and drink coffee.  The rest is uncertain.
50. I wonder... when I'll tire of chevron.  I also wonder if anyone actually read ALL 50 of these random facts.

Well, we have made it half way through the month.

We got some groceries the other day, and Josh did a great job of helping me stay on track and determining if something was a necessity or not.

I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow to get a missing ingredient for a dish we're making for our small group potluck dinner tomorrow evening.  I've got some other things on our grocery list that I'm wondering if I should get too.

I'm also craving eggnog (SO random!) and will be temped to get some.

Darnit, I should have had Josh get the ingredient for me today.

Being on a spending freeze has definitely gotten me doing more in the kitchen, and it's been really fun!  Especially since my husband is willing to do the cleanup!  Bless his heart!  Oh, and did I mention that on top of everything else, our dishwasher broke?!?

Catherine LOVES to help bake.  In the past I would just let her watch from her highchair pulled up to whatever I was doing.  But now she is helping with lots of stirring, and she can't get enough of it.  Her latest phrase repeated over and over is "Gotta stir it up!"  She even has to stir the food on her plate at every meal now.

In the last few days I have made Mounds Bar Brownies (so rich!), Smores Bars (just made it up as I went along - used a sugar cookie dough as a crust and added chocolate chips, marshmallow creme and marshmallows), and Peach Slowcooker Oatmeal.

Tonight we made our own version of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits.  Those are one of the best things in the world (can I get an amen?); in fact they are the reason I go to Red Lobster!  I'm not a huge fish eater and usually get chicken there, ha!

Anyways, I started with this base recipe from the Top Secret Restaurant Recipes book.  (Warning: on my computer some annoying video started automatically playing at this site, and I couldn't find it anywhere to pause it, so I ended up just muting my whole computer.  Automatic videos or music is a HUGE internet pet peeve of mine, but that's another blog post.)

Then I researched a few other recipes, reviews, and comments online and ended up with this:


Cheddar Bay Biscuits:

2 1/2 cups Bisquick baking mix (I used Aldi brand)
1/2 stick cold butter
3/4 cup whole milk
1 cup+ shredded cheddar cheese (I actually grated it myself from a block of extra sharp)
garlic powder
Old Bay seasoning
dried parsley flakes
(sorry, I don't measure seasonings)

Cut the butter into the Bisquick mix with a large fork and knife.  Keep going til you end up with pea sized(ish) butter clumps.  Add the rest of ingredients and stir.

I used a small ice cream scoop and plopped onto cookie sheets and baked at 400 degrees for 12ish minutes (not sure here because I had to pull them out early because our oven was smoking.  Ha, turns out my sneaky daughter had turned up the oven to 490, yikes!).

While they're baking, melt in the microwave 2 tablespoons butter (I used margarine).  Dump in a bunch of garlic powder (Catherine just went to town here), more parsley flakes, and a pinch of salt.

Brush on top of hot biscuits (or somehow transfer with a spoon if you're like me and don't think you have a brush) and bake for another couple minutes.

Enjoy!  They are just as addicting as the real thing!

The other day we ran errands.  Josh had to have his phone fixed.  And we felt a working toilet was a necessity, so a stop at Lowe's was also in the plans.

I decided to join him since I really haven't been out much in the last couple weeks.  Then it became a matter of what do I do while he's having his phone fixed.  We were right by Target.  C and I could spend some time wandering around.  Thanks to the emails they send me I know that every department has my favorite thing going on right now:  CLEARANCE!!!

Big fat NO!!!

I love Target.  And I love Clearance.  So I have a huge amount of love for Target Clearance.  Which is the reason I knew I couldn't step foot in their door.  This kills me!  But I know I'm better off not going at all, rather than going and being tempted by so much and then let down when I can't get it.

We are quickly getting to a point though where we will need some groceries.  C is getting low on milk.  We've been out of bread for days.  I'm working on a list, but the hard part will be sticking to it.

It has been kinda fun these last few days to have to get creative with food at home.  The other day I was having leftover pasta and really wanted some garlic bread to go with it.  None in the freezer, and normally I'd just whip some up in the toaster oven with bread, butter, and garlic powder, but we had no bread.  Josh reminded me of a can of crescent rolls in the fridge, so I decided to put some garlic powder and butter on that instead.  I even found some shredded mozzarella in the freezer and stuffed some of them with a pinch or two of cheese.

I was pretty proud of them.

I'm also really proud of us.  We love to eat out.  So, I'm really proud of us for making more meals at home.

We got a little sort of break the other day with a night at a hotel.  I say a sort of break because we received some money at Christmas that we set aside for the hotel stay.  We usually go away for a day or two when Josh has a long break, so our night at a hotel was our Christmas Break "vacation".  We stayed at The DoubleTree just half a mile away from where we used to live.  It was a very nice hotel, and it was nice to be kid-free for a night.  I got to enjoy lots of HGTV from a comfy king-sized bed.  I also took advantage of their yummy free cookies and a free apple from the check-in desk.  Winning!

Looking down from our 8th floor room onto one of the lobbies.

Hanging out in the main lobby - so swanky!

 After our one night getaway, we ended up stranded at my in-laws for two nights due to a blizzard.  I am so grateful for two sets of parents in the area who take such good care of us!  Still didn't spend any money, and got to go a couple days without worrying about fixing the meals, woot woot!

One of these days...

• I'll catch up on posting photos of Catherine
• I'll dust
• I'll pick up
• I'll pack up
• I'll get organized
• I'll purge
• I'll take that ever growing pile to Goodwill/Salvation Army
• I'll do something with all the food in our pantry
• I'll get the cloth napkins out
• I'll use those square appetizer plates
• I'll entertain again
• I'll hang things on the walls
• I'll put together our wedding guest book
• I'll frame photos
• I'll find a matching coffee table and end tables
• I'll update our family blog
• I'll get baby announcements made
• I'll send the Christmas/New Years/Valentines/Easter letter
• I'll finish the thank you notes
  

But not today. These days I'm lucky if I get more than 6 hours of sleep. It's a good day if I can make myself breakfast to eat in the car and remember to pack a lunch. It's a good thing if dirty clothes make it into the laundry basket. Or even near it.

These days the bar is pretty low. And I'm ok with that. I have to be.

These days, it's just about survival.

I saw this sandwich description that someone on facebook had made for lunch. It sounds so yummy I want to make it myself at some point. I know I'll forget about it, so this is a reminder to myself:

• brie
• turkey
• cranberry
• honey mustard
• toasted bread

I could probably throw some romaine on there too.

Hungry?

Well, Josh & I attended our first FPU class the other day. Our first goal is saving up money. I learned that there are 3 reasons to save:

• for your emergency fund
• for future purchases (to avoid going into debt)
• wealth building

In doing a quickie budget last night, I think we were both quite surprised. I had been keeping track of recent spending but hadn't yet totaled it. Whoa!!! I spend way too much money on eating out and way not enough money on groceries! You should all (hopefully) know that you save money by cooking your own meals, eating at home or packing a lunch, rather than eating out at a restaurant. Therefore, my immediate goal is to severely cut back my eating out.

Already today - I resisted the urge to walk downtown to pick up a bagel for breakfast and instead just had a fruit bar from my desk drawer and waited til lunch for more. And then after lunch I wanted ice cream. Instead of hitting the DQ, I dug around in my freezer to find an old Weight Watchers Smart Ones ice cream mini dessert. It was chocolate mint, and it was delicious! I had gotten it awhile ago on sale, and was surprised to discover it actually has 2 servings in the box! They're on sale again this week, so I just may have to get a couple more.

My goal is to also brew coffee at home, rather than buying it from my downtown cafe. I got up early enough today to make that happen. I'm learning what a difference it makes if I'm organized and plan ahead so that I don't have to go buy things from restaurants and cafes simply due to convenience. If I prepare the coffee the night before and/or get up early enough to make it in the morning... If I buy groceries and specifically purchase things I know I can take with me to work when I have the munchies... If my house is organized and clean, I can cook for friends instead of going out and spending more money.

I know these are obvious things, but it's time I started putting them into practice! Woo hoo!

For some reason my blog has been the farthest thing from my mind lately. But I thought I’d just share with you things that have been going on lately…

Dealing with insurance companies – yuck!

Getting a new roommate – yea!

Being treated to a belated Administrative Professionals lunch – finally.

Keeping track of money I spend. I have coined the new phrase “Frugality is my new reality” – don’t go trying to steal it from me!

Volunteering for the annual MS Walk – I LOVE getting to do that!

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo with my honey, making our own Mexican treats!

Experimenting with oatmeal recipes

Thinking about Europe – 3 of my friends are there currently

Missing Southern California

Considering my future - a lot

• It's warming up!


• I'm wearing flip flops!
  
  
• I'm having overnight company tonight through Sunday!
  

• I get to see Jac and Anson (see above)!


• I'm looking forward to my honey's musical this weekend!


• My honey rocked his Defense of his Master's Thesis - thank you, God!


• I picked up McD's coffee this morning!


• I made it in to work early!


• I just took baby step #1 in looking into renewing my teacher's license!


• One of our building tenants brought in no-bake cookies in honor of Administrative Professionals Week - yea!!


• I made a real meal for dinner tonight!
  
  
• I've listened to good music today!
  
  
• There was a REALLY great article about my dad in the paper today (you can see the link on my facebook)!
  
  
• Tomorrow is FRIDAY, and I get to wear jeans!!
  

The reality that I no longer try to hide is that I desire to be a wife and mom. And, naturally, I want to be a good wife and mom. I know that requires work. So, I'm trying to prepare now. I'm a long ways off, but I'm making baby steps. And I feel I am one step closer to that dream right now.

I just picked out fabric for an APRON! My friend Kim is making me my own apron! I have wanted one for a couple years, having never had one in all my thirty years! So, needless to say, I am EXCITED!!

We met the other day, had coffee, looked at patterns and then fabric. I picked out these 2 that coordinate. I will have a reversible (!) apron with polka-dots & paisley pockets on one side and paisley with polka-dot pockets on the other side - what fun!!

Now, once I have the apron, I should really learn to do some cooking, eh?