The upswing always comes around.

I am looking forward to so much. I've had a busy day and have a few more ahead of me. A lot of work stuff that isn't so exciting. But it's different, so I enjoy that.

Tomorrow I'm out of town for a meeting, good way to end the week.

Then I say goodbye to my favorite cafe. Where I used to go daily. I'd link ya, but I don't think they ever did a website. If they did, I never found it. I'm so sad the owners are closing up shop. I wish someone else was on board to take over. If it wasn't in freaking Granger I might consider it. Not that I could afford a venture like that, but I'd still consider it and wish that I could.

After a quick goodbye there (since they now close at 6), I will then head over to Goshen to meet up with my honey.

Hmm, it just dawned on me. I have not told you about my honey. Hmmm, most of you are friends with me on Facebook where you already knew all about him. Right? OK!

So, anyways, I am spending the evening with him, relaxing and enjoying blueberry coffee. Mmmmm!

Saturday I have to get up early for a work event. It was optional, but I got a personal invite, and I knew I would win bonus points with my boss if I told him I was going. So, I'm going.

Then I'm meeting up with Roomie Alicia for a cafe and a movie.

Then "my girls" for dinner and, no doubt, wild and crazy times. It's been so long since we've all been together. I'm SO excited for this!

Why do I share vague details beforehand? I'm still paranoid about the fact that anyone can read this. And while I highly doubt that some freak is out there stalking me, waiting for me to mention a specific time and specific place of where I'll be and how they can find me, I'm still cautious.

I suppose I could just tell you it all after the fact. But I'm excited now, so I'm sharing now.

I was gonna get up and workout this morning. I overslept. It didn’t happen.

Instead I had wonderful dreams that I’m afraid will never come true.

We’re supposed to get 5+ more inches of snow. I am soooooooo tired of this snow. I can’t even imagine it all disappearing. This has been a *rough* winter.

I’m walking around with a heavy heart. The song is still in there, but it’s no longer bursting forth. It’s playing, now trying to soothe and comfort me.

I’m waiting for the upswing.

1. Today I was holding a check for $10,000.00. That’s a lot of zeros.

2. It’s ok to not like a particular food! You don’t have to eat it. You don’t have to feel bad for NOT eating it.

3. Yesterday I completely forgot the word crouton. I had no idea what those things were called.

4. Magic Johnson is advertising for Jackson Hewiit. How weird.

5. I feel full of so much emotion lately. So full it starts coming out of my eyes. It’s not sadness. It’s JOY! It’s EXCITEMENT! It’s BLISS! It’s PEACE and CONTENTMENT! It’s GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION, knowing how BLESSED I am!!! It's like my heart is bursting forth, and I just can't contain it! I am literally erupting with song!

I have this problem with falling asleep. I still recall repeatedly not being able to stay awake in college classes. I mean, it was like out of control. We’re talking front row, head bobbing repeatedly throughout the class!!

This even happened when I was auditing a class at Notre Dame last year. I was there as a professional, and I was falling asleep just like the other students.

I am reminded of this today as I received a phone call from the professor at ND and remembered my sheepish guilt and embarrassment about not being able to stay awake.

I don’t think this problem is going anywhere, unfortunately. My last night in Cali I was hanging out with friends. We were watching Chocolat with Juliette Binoche, a beautiful flick. Before I knew it, the movie was over. I had fallen into a deep deep sleep, missing about half of the movie. Oh dear.

The last few days have been a whirlwind. 69 hours in Los Angeles is not long enough.

It's now time to return to reality. Gotta get up early to workout and then head back to the office.

Then dinner and 24 with Andy and then on to book club. Back home to tidy around the apartment.

Yep, just a normal day here in South Bend. I'm already starting to forget the sunshine and 80 degrees I encountered over the long weekend. Must look at pics to remind myself that it really did happen. It wasn't just a dream.

Here's proof:

Hooray! My car is repaired and paid for!!! Such a relief!

So, apparently, Elkhart (about 30 min. east) police are looking for this guy, who they think may have killed 2 men. I am almost certain I have seen this man. He looks soooo familiar to me. Probably some guy who hit on me at one point or another. It happens too often to keep track. Or maybe he was an eHarmony match?

Locals, this weekend is Niles' awesome Ice Festival! Definitely something work checking out if you are in the area. Honestly, I am bummed I am missing it. Though, I am grateful I will be in Southern California!

Also, some of our local Micky D's now have McCafe's!! The downtown McD's (IE, my McD's), Grape Road, and Twin Branch (wherever that is!?). Perhaps more, but those are the ones I am aware of.

I'm still a happy camper with just my McDonald's coffee (medium with 1 cream & 2-3 splenda), but I know there will be many other happy campers hearing about the McCafe!

Jennifer . . .

is hyped up from watching 4 episodes of 24 tonight!

is beyond irritated with her car door lock freezing and then not shutting.

is starting to get excited for California this weekend.

is tired of the blizzards.

is still waiting for the money.

thinks tomorrow is gonna be a great day.

is ok with the fact that she missed 90210 tonight.

is contemplating going TV-less when the rest of the US goes digital.

has had tense, tight shoulders the last couple days.

is grateful she has a landline so she can call her cell when it's missing.

realized today that there is just something really depressing about eating a meal right out of the frozen TV dinner tray.

said, "There is no such thing as 'hurrying' when the roads and weather are this bad."

is seriously contemplating what to do with the recent unexpected money she was given.

is starting to get sleepy.

knows that good things are a-comin'. Actually, they're already here!

My office is extremely cold. Certain parts of the building are fine, such as my boss’ office. My office, however, is surrounded by windows (normally a good thing) which lose a lot of the heat. I constantly have a space heater going under my desk and an extra sweater that I leave at work to blanket myself with.

My home, on the other hand, is extremely warm. My housemates, unfortunately, have control of the thermostat. Being upstairs, it is always warmer. We all know heat rises, right? It’s not uncommon for me to have to open a window during winter to cool off. I also use fans year round.

Being in both atmospheres in the same day for 5 days of the week certainly makes it a challenge. When I’m getting ready at home in the mornings, I’m comfortable in a tank top and light pants. However, I’m obviously not leaving the house in a tank top during winter! I get everything else ready – purse/bag packed, coffee ready, etc. And then I finally add the rest of my clothes – and scarf and coat just before heading out. I even delay socks because my feet just like being barefoot.

Of course, once I go outside, it’s freezing. When I arrive at work it’s chilly. I never really warm up. At home I can barely stand anything over my first layer. At work I’m always wanting more layers.

I usually go home for lunch. I’m blasted by the heat, quickly removing my hat, gloves, mittens (yes, both), scarf, coat, and frequently a sweater. An hour later, it’s back to the tundra.

With my portable thermometer I have monitored temps at both places. Home varies 70 – 78, usually an average of 75. Work at the start of the day is below 60 and “warms up” to 65 at the most. It’s torturous. So, dealing with a ten degree difference is, quite honestly, just a pain.

Q: Why do I live in the Midwest?

I have asked myself that question countless times - always in the winter. This is my fourth winter since moving back from Los Angeles. Each one seems worse than the last. And I am found frequently wondering why I live here.

I'm not the only one. I've got other people asking me the same thing and asking themselves the same thing.

Winters are a hard thing to get through in the Midwest. If you haven't spent a winter here, you can't understand. If you come for a visit during the winter, you can't understand. If snow is a vacation for you, you aren't living in the Midwest.

To actually have this be your life day after day after day after day with no end in sight, knowing that even in April you've seen snow here in the Midwest... It can get a bit tired. Very tiring in fact. And quite depressing.

So, why do we do it? Well, I can't answer for the rest of the Midwesterners, but I now can answer for myself.

Yes, this answer came to me this week. So...

Q: Why do I live in the Midwest?

A:

1. I have updated my list of Blogs I Read.

2. You now have a poll in which to vote.

Last month I told you about my new endeavor and asked for your suggestions for a label any time I blog about it. I received many ideas and have put 5 of them online for you to choose from. There is still the option to provide your own suggestion if you don't like any on the list.

Please vote! You have 2 weeks.

Tuesday is the day that Lulu (my car) will be fixed. I hate that it has taken so long and that I am driving around without a working front left turn signal! I hate being one of those jerks who doesn't use a turn signal!

I'm still nervous about the other driver actually coming through with the money. The world is full of jerks. So far he doesn't seem like one of them (other than when he passed me to turn in front of me!), but you never know what will happen.

I will just be very relieved to have the repairs made and the money in my hand!

This morning I wanted something comfortable to wear. This has been a recent obsession of mine, becoming extremely happy when I go home and get to change into loungewear or PJ’s. Maybe it all started with the recovery post surgery.


Regardless, this morning I decided I needed to wear my sweater robe.


I’ve had this thing for ages, and it was second-hand when I received it. Remember when the long sweaters were really trendy back a few years ago? I know they’re trendy again now, which is strange to see already. Maybe the trend a few years ago never fully birthed itself or something. My sweater is beige/tan, ribbed, long and with a belt that I rarely use. I usually just let it hang open. The sweater and belt are so long that I have to make sure not to close my car door on them. Oh, and it has a long hood that I never use.


I love it because it is so comfortable that it makes me feel like I’m wearing a bathrobe to work and getting away with it! I think another reason I like it so much is because my ex hated it. *smirk* Just like my fabulous brown velour sweatsuit. Hey, if you give me a reason to dress up, I will. If not, this is what you’re getting! Am I the only one who thinks like that?

The last couple of days I have been feeling better. I could tell my mouth was healing. I ate my first real meal yesterday - very exciting! And I returned to working out today.

I'm pretty certain I lost my last stitch today. Apparently "the stitches will dissolve in about a week" means "you will spit them out in your sink when brushing your teeth in over a week."

This afternoon at work I could tell the last stitch was trying to come out. It was all loose and irritating. I tried rinsing and spitting in the bathroom, but it wouldn't budge. The last hour and a half of work drove me crazy - more than usual I mean. When I got home I had better lighting looking in my mirror, and so I eventually just pulled it out.

Hmm. So, make that "you will spit them out or pull them out in over a week."

I can't believe I just wrote those details.

Some random thoughts throughout the day, Tuesday, approximately 7:30 AM - 5:30 PM (in order of occurrence), :

Hey, I actually slept. Yea. And good dreams too. Wow.

Are those the stitches from my mouth??

I don’t like wearing socks.

Coffee or no coffee?

My neighborhood has an eerie feel this morning.

I hope my car door isn’t frozen shut again. I hope it will close.

Really? I have to scrape my windshield again?

Why do I have such a bad attitude when I go to work?

Downtown smells like onions. I’m sick of smelling onions!

Eerie feeling at work too. I don’t remember it being this dark. Aren’t the days supposed to be getting longer?

Wow, Corey is doing a really good job.

Let’s see how much money I need to save before I retire.

I am talking to THE craziest man ever!!! How do I keep from laughing out loud at him? (30 minutes later…) How do I hang up on this guy?

Crap, it’s snowing! A lot. Snow makes me angry.

Crap, they want $564.24 to repair my car light & bumper?!? Holy cow! Need another estimate!

Wow, pineapple juice with 7-up is the best combo ever!!!

Am I really gonna walk out in the snow and cold to go get coffee? I’m freezing INdoors!

Ugh, how am I gonna get through this day???

Ok, looks like I’m spending my lunch hour driving to the east part of Mishawaka for another estimate. Joy.

Where can I find tomato soup & grilled cheese for lunch?

Why do my eyes hurt so much?

Ooh, the roads are a little slippery.

Turtle Oreo Blizzard?!? How much stuff do people need?

Oh no, did I really just fall flat on my behind? How did this happen? Where did that ice come from?? And did that guy see it? Oh, definitely.

Wow, I can’t believe I am eating a real meal. This is SO exciting!!! Sooooo good! It’s a good workout for my lazy jaw too!

Gas is $1.99?!? The last time I filled up it was 60 cents cheaper per gallon! That’s a $6 difference for a fill up! This is ridiculous!

This is a lot of chocolate.

I am freezing!!!

Oh my gosh, I just realized I’ve been using a straw for the last hour and a half!!! I hope it’s gonna be ok…

Man, I rock! I love when I can help others so much!

Oh, I am so full. Stuffed! When was the last time I felt stuffed?

“Ignition Park”!?!? You’ve gotta be kidding me!

I hate this copier.

Wow, why did I suddenly have a flashback to Jusco, the department store in Okinawa??

Why is that guy not wearing a jacket?! Idiot.

Oh no, is that (insert name here – the guy I’ve been trying to avoid)? I hope not cuz I’m staring right at him.

What a long day!

How can I get some of that Southern Pecan coffee?? Too bad they close at 5.

Oh man, my work always quadruples when he’s in the office.

What? Did somebody say “KFC”? Biscuits, biscuits!

Yea, I'm so excited to have plans tonight - and be around people!

I haven't made too many New Years resolutions recently. This year, though, I felt I should.

And it kinda felt like a chore. Like, I gotta do it in case somebody asks. I felt the need to be introspective and set goals.

I struggle with setting goals. But I'm trying to get better at it.

I realized I love making lists, so I decided to just view my resolutions as a To Do List for the year.

Ready for a peek?

1. Stop putting my hope in men.
2. Read 10 books.
3. Find some hobby that stirs my soul.
4. Spend more time in prayer.
5. Spend more time in the Word.
6. Decorate my apartment.
7. Stay in the race to lose weight.
8. More "quiet time" - no tv or internet.
9. Roll over 401K.
10. Tithe all year.

There ya go.

Some are easier to measure than others. But these are these that I want to keep in mind overall for the next 12 months.

What are your New Years resolutions?

Oh dear, I am feeling sassy and, excuse me, ballsy tonight. Actually, it's been throughout the day. I'm not sure what has gotten into me. I thought it was the music I've been listening to for the last couple hours (Tom Petty), but I realize now it started earlier in the day.

What have I been doing in such a ballsy mood?

Pretty much, saying what's on my mind. I sent a To Do list to my landlord. I did a few other things that I don't need to go into details about here for all to read. But, it basically sums up to taking action, rather than waiting for someone else to.

I don't know. Does that just mean I'm impatient? Usually my impatience doesn't coincide with me taking action. Instead it shows up with me complaining and obsessing over the issue(s). So, I think it's a good thing that I'm taking action in these areas. Things that need to be done, need to be said, need to be taken care of.

It's a good thing.

1. Do you ever just reach a certain point where you have done all you can and you can do no more?

2. Do you ever wonder when you first started losing respect for a person and why?

3. Do you ever wonder how certain people were raised to turn out so clueless?

4. Do you ever crave tomato soup?

5. Do you ever long to return to normal?

6. Do you ever feel so surrounded by clutter that even Christmas decor is annoying?

7. Do you ever return to work from a vacation to discover 150 new email messages?

8. Do you ever get a headache so severe you feel it moving all over your head and face?

9. Do you ever long for Friday on a Sunday night?

10. Do you ever carry a dollar's worth of change in your pocket around all day for a cup of coffee you never get?


I do.

Who's up for a whine-fest? All I want to do is complain right now.

My jaw hurts. I'm getting cranky. I've been working hard in my apartment all day and last night. I have been feeling bad today - besides the jaw pain, exhaustion, all over body ache, and hot flashes, for lack of a better word.

I am hungry. I just want to be able to eat real food again. Pizza, pasta, sandwiches, steak, chicken, potatoes, veggies, cake... I could keep going and going with all the food that sounds so good to me.

I think I'll treat myself to a yogurt.

It's been 4 days since my wisdom teeth were removed. I went back to work today. I've had slight pain, but I've kept it in check with just Tylenol.

Tonight, however, I think I'm in more pain than I have the last few days.

It was pretty strange realizing how the anesthesia (or Anna Stacia, as I like to call it) wiped away memories. It's REALLY strange. I discovered that it caused temporary amnesia only after I told my mom no one had paid for the surgery. I was pretty stunned when she told me I had. Apparently I had given really specific instructions for payment. I had NO memory of it. And it sure made me wonder what else had happened that I could no longer recall. It's weird to think about.

One really hard part post procedure was changing the gauze in my mouth. Once the Novocaine wore off and I could feel things in my mouth, I just wanted to gag on the gauze. I had to spit them out and try again with like half the size of the gauze. I just couldn't handle it. One hour with those, and I decided I was done.

I was able to sleep a lot, which was especially surprising considering I was sleeping sitting up on the loveseat. I was in my little loveseat pod almost all the time, curled up under blankets and wearing loungewear or sweats. I watched a lot of movies. Mom took good care of me. She even took off work to take care of me! I am so proud of her. She doesn't do so well with blood and sickness, etc. And she was so kind to me, making me soup, getting me applesauce, putting in new movies, being my chauffeure, getting me extra pillows, etc. etc. etc.

Day 2 I was supposed to walk around and do stuff. I was feeling ok enough to do so. So we took a trip downtown. Got to visit with friends who were in town for the day from Phoenix. And visited a couple of my hangouts downtown.

Day 3 was New Year's Eve, and I was bored of sitting around. My parents had plans to go to a party that night, and I knew I just couldn't sit at their house all night. New Year's is my favorite holiday, and it's always memorable for me. I was able to go home and get ready to go to a party at Laura's. Jen, Andy, and I were there for a few hours. Lot of people, lots of laughter (my jaw got worn out), lots of food (I had 1/2 piece of cheese, and that took me about 30 minutes). We watched the ball drop and shared a favorite memory of 2008. The night wore me out.

Day 4 I started having some nausea and crankiness. I started getting REALLY tired of the same food. Just thinking about eating would make me feel nauseous.

Now, I'm ready to call it a night.