People often go to church, thinking that's where they'll find God.  But often times God shows up where and when we least expect it.

At my weekly Moms Group we share "Selah moments" - taking the time to pause and reflect and see and share how God has shown up.  I was so excited to share last week about this . . .

At the end of our 3,441 mile road trip last week, we were literally pulling into the driveway at midnight on a Saturday night.  A long day after a long trip.  I wasn't ready to commit to getting up and around early the next day for church.  Until I remembered what was going on at a church in our neighboring town.

Baptism

There are lots of ways to define or describe baptism.  One way I would is to say it is an outward symbol of an inner change.

My dear friend's brother was being baptized, and I did not want to miss it.

After spending 10 years in a life celebrating sin, he had changed.  God showed up and changed him.  And I gotta say, I did not expect it.


I think of all the prayers prayed over all those years, and, to be honest, I did not expect this.  God showed up, and God surprised me.  I think God surprised a lot of people with this one.

So, I wanted to be there to celebrate.

And I wasn't the only one.

Catherine has been really curious about baptism lately.  When she heard there was going to be a baptism, she wanted to be there too.

It was a powerful service, and the Spirit was stirring in the hearts of the people there.  People made decisions to follow Jesus, and people made decisions to be baptized.  Those being baptized shared their stories.  Stories of redemption, stories of forgiveness, stories of victory, stories of grace.  Stories of Jesus and the power of His transforming salvation.

And Catherine got to hear all those stories.  We celebrated with happy hearts, applauding hands, and teary eyes.

Photo by Amber Wilkinson

And God continued to show up.

That evening at dinner, as she had been doing for a couple days, Catherine eagerly volunteered to pray before we ate.  She started with her usual mumbled and quiet expression of thanks for the food and a simple request for a good day.  Then her voice became loud and bold as she continued,

"Please, God, can I come in your heart?  Please Jesus, can you come into my heart?  Please can you be my Savior from sin?  Amen"

Lifting our heads, Josh and I looked at each other, stunned and wide-eyed, across the table.  That was unexpected for sure.  I mean, it's something we have often discussed together and prayed for.  But I didn't think it would happen already or like that or totally of her own doing.

Well, her doing and His doing.

You just never know when He's working.  In the hearts and lives of grown adults who may have written off God or may have been written off by the church.  Or in the hearts and lives of young, spunky, strong-willed children.

You just never know.

So, this is really recent and still pretty raw, but there's a message behind it that I believe is worth sharing.

Remember that work-from-home job that I picked up just a few months ago?
Yah.
I recently made the really hard decision to leave that job.

There were great things about that job and even greater potential.
But I really felt God telling me that it was taking me away from my family and that it just wasn't the right time for that job.

It's been really deflating and discouraging.
So I started asking myself "Why?"
"Why is it so devastating to leave that behind?"

And I came to realize that I was really struggling with the thought of losing the title "work from home mom".
I hated losing that defining part of my identity.

There are a lot of different layers and aspects of my identity, and the truth is, many of them are fleeting.  I mean, in all honesty, many things that I use to define myself could be snatched away in an instant.

Wife
Mom
Work from home mom

Any of that could change overnight, so I can't get caught up in allowing my identity to come from those things.

I have to remind myself that it is my identity in Christ that is constant, never changing.

Yes, I can still describe myself in ways such as "wife" and "mom" in an effort to find commonality with some readers.  But I also have to look at the qualifiers that I am or that I have just because of who God says I am.

So, here are some reminders.  Mainly for myself.  But maybe also for you.  Maybe you are struggling with your identity too.  Consider what is fleeting and what is constant.  I want to be grounded in the things of the never changing Father.


This list is something I received from my Moms' Group, and it would be a great list to study further and even add to.  Can I encourage you to skim the list and see what truth reaches out and speaks to you? 

Maybe you need reminding that you are His child.
Maybe you need to remember that you are His chosen one.
Maybe it's the reminder that you are redeemed and made new in Christ.

These are the things I cling to as my circumstances change and my boat gets rocked through the waves of life.

Who Am I?

I am the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)

Every now and then, I'll do one of these Fill in the Blanks/Finish this Sentence type blog posts.  Living In Yellow did one, so I felt inspired to do so, as well.

Throwing a fit about:  Facebook not working for me.  I was having problems with it last night.  Just tried again this afternoon, and ... even worse.  Grrrr.  Oh well, it's probably a good thing, as it is likely my biggest time waster online.

Well, I was on a blogging roll for awhile there.

Maybe it will return.  Sometime.

For now, I continue working and wife-ing and mom-ing.  Lots of learning and adjusting

Josh was off all last week for Fall Break.  He had a birthday.  We enjoyed free "hot donuts now" at Krispy Kreme "late" one night.  Because we could.



We went to Indianapolis for a mini family vacay (cross that off the summer to do list) and my sister-in-law's sister's wedding.  I cried at the wedding and danced at the reception.  I recalled my own wedding.  It's amusing how some of the details are so sketchy (Did we partake in the tradition of kissing when glasses are tapped?  Did we have anything glass at the reception?).  And some details will never leave my memory.

Catherine with her cousins

s'mores as wedding favor

We stayed at a great hotel and had dinner at Cheesecake Factory.  We ooh'ed and ahh'ed over items at Crate & Barrel, and then I informed my husband that I'm very content living a life that does not include spending $5100 on a sofa, just in case he needed reassurance.

Date Night

Catherine's birthday party is quickly coming up - less than two weeks.  So, I'll need to be thinking more about that soon.  We're having the party at a local restaurant/cafe/bakery.  I kept the guest list very short.  It will be a short and sweet - and salty - party.

But of course I can't do anything simply.  So, I plan to make goodie bags/favors for guests.

I'm currently working on a Moms Night Out for my weekly moms' group and planning our church's ladies' Christmas party.

Our washing machine quit working 2 weeks ago.  Mid-cycle.  Just to keep things interesting I guess.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.  And the next couple weeks.

We no longer have a guest room.

Instead, this is now my office.

In addition to needing to spend focused time working on Women's Ministry and my Mamas' Group (have I mentioned I'm on the leadership team for that?), as well as wanting to spend focused time on writing, I now have a part-time, work-from-home job.


And I know in order to actually work, I need a designated place to do the work.

So, here it is.  Definitely a work in progress!  But it's good for now, and I'll keep adding my personal touch to it.

As for my job, I will be doing a lot of hands-on details in running a website for job postings in Northwest Indiana.  The marketing and social media aspects excite me, but I'm also very aware how much I have to learn.

It's been 3 1/2 years since I worked outside the home, and 5 years since I've been in something more like this kind of work.  In all honesty, I'm scared.

Late this afternoon I just reached a place of utter exhaustion and fear.  I suggested Catherine pick out a movie.  I snuggled up on the couch under like five blankets and let myself nap to escape the reality.

But I don't want fear to win.
I'm reminding myself that God made me brave.
God made me to shine.

The same verse I have shared with Catherine I now remind myself of:

Within just a couple of months I have gone from mocking desks to wanting my own.

What?  Who mocks desks??

...sheepishly raising hand...

It was not that long ago that I said, "Who needs a desk?!?  Anything you'd do at a desk you can just do at a kitchen table."  I basically felt like desks were pointless.

And now I'm actually contemplating turning our guest room into my office.

Because this:

Yikes

Oh the horror.  I can't believe I just shared that with you.

That is my makeshift wannabe office.  And, clearly, it's not working well.

It's in our living room.  In the middle of our living.  Surrounded by toys.  And clutter.  And life.  And distractions.  The physical clutter causes mental clutter.  And I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

I long for a space that is mine.

I long for peace.
Quiet.
Stillness.
Calm.

A clean slate and a clean space.
To create.
To focus.
To work.

I blame The Nester.  I just finished her book.  Her motto is "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."  Her words and methods are inspiring me to change things up in my home.  I got her book from the library, but I wouldn't mind actually owning a copy to use as a resource.  I'm a fan of being able to underline, circle, and star things in books.  I guess that's the little bit of creativity in me.

Maybe it will go on my Christmas Wish List.

Sometimes balance is hard.

That's the season I'm in right now.

Man, life is busy.

And that from a person who really strives to say no to things.

I'm really happy to be doing some things that I enjoy tremendously.  I'm now in charge of Women's Ministry at our church.  This still cracks me up.

I'm also on the planning team for my weekly mamas' group.


I also plan the Moms' Night Out events for that.

I'm entering my 2nd year serving on the team from our church that serves a local elementary school.  I somehow slipped into the role of interim leader...  I'm trying to get out of that, but it's taking awhile since there is no other interim leader.  I'd be happiest just getting to do my little things to encourage the teachers.  Last year we I did handwritten notes of encouragement and Bible verses to all the staff.  I put together little cups of flavored hot cocoa for them.

Go ahead - click on the pic to read the cheesy note!

I obtained gift cards for the staff for a local pretzel shop and a local coffee house.  We also did little treats and notes around Thanksgiving, as well as cards for Christmas and Easter.  And then there was the ice cream party I organized for the whole school of 500.

Trunk full of ice cream

The more involved I am, the more I realize what I truly enjoy doing and the more I try to embrace those things.  I am an encourager.  I am a planner.  I create cute things and cute events.  I write.  I blog.  I mother.

And with mothering a now pre-schooler, there comes a whole new set of responsibilities to manage.  Paying monthly tuition (gulp!), keeping track of special days, parties, assignments (show and tell of an object starting with the first letter of your name, for example), in addition to remembering to pick her up on time (I'm gonna have to set an alarm on my phone).

So, things feel a little full right now.

We're taking a break from gymnastics.  This makes me sad, but I also know we need some sanity around here.

Josh and Catherine are attending Wednesday night church, while I'm taking a break and trying to use that time to work on some of the above ministry tasks.

Josh wanted us to attend a new Sunday School class, but I had to say, "My plate is full.  You can attend it without me if you'd like."

I'm trying to find more crock-pot recipes to help with the busyness of it all.  Tonight's meal is bourbon chicken over rice (Note to self:  make sure we have enough rice!).  When I pinned and suggested it, I assumed Josh would be making it.  So when I was putting it all together this morning, I had to text Josh with about half a dozen questions. I'm so grateful my husband is one who does a ton around the house and doesn't complain when I don't!

Sometimes I just have to force myself to say, "Ok, task #14 didn't get done today.  I can't do everything.  I have to be ok with that.  Tomorrow is a new day.  We'll work on task #14 tomorrow.  I'll enlist the help of a grandparent or two to entertain Catherine while I can accomplish some things."

It helps when I feel less stressed and more organized.  There is peace that comes with being prepared.  So, since that was yesterday when task #14 didn't get done, I'd better go do it now!

The last few days have been very different in my life.

I'm installing more routine and more self discipline when it comes to my schedule.

Getting up and ready early (early for me, at least).

Being more present in my daughter's life, as opposed to my own tasks.

Devotions at breakfast.

Going to bed earlier.

NOT napping (ugh).

Less internet searching, pointless scrolling, or Bejeweled Blitz playing.

Less time wasting.

More intentional time spending.

More meal planning.

More simplifying.

More praying.

Today's sermon at church was about "Life With Jesus."  I soaked it up.

My weekly moms' group kicks off this week where we will be studying how to be a woman after God's own heart.

And, ahem, official announcement:  I am now organizing Women's Ministry at our church.

Yah, that's even surprising to me.  So uniquely orchestrated, it could only be God.

I'm spending this Sunday evening pouring into the organizing and the communicating, and the foundational details, while listening to chick music and eating yogurt (all while dealing with a 3 1/2 year old who is up past her bedtime, with a variety of "needs").

Josh is getting into the groove of his back to work routine.  And now Catherine and I are entering into our new routines.

This is not going to come easily or naturally to me, so hopefully writing about it will help me with some accountability.  I praise God for the changes He has made within me, and I will continue asking God to renew and reshape me.