I could write paragraph after paragraph, page after page, post after post about all I'm doing wrong.

Seriously.  I don't cook.  I don't clean.  I complain.  And I procrastinate.

Some days my daughter practically drags me out of bed.

I nag my husband.

I don't exercise.

I eat out too much.

I don't budget.

There are all sorts of failures in every possible category.

But, for a change, can I just focus on something I'm doing right?

I can't resist a picture of sleeping beauty.

Tonight with both Josh and Catherine in bed and me still downstairs working on an upcoming event, I kept hearing random noises coming from upstairs.
Curiosity got the best of me, and I tried to tiptoe up the old creaky steps in our 110 year old farmhouse.  Fortunately, Catherine's sound machine and fan covered up the creaking, so she had no idea I was standing outside her bedroom door.

What I saw and what I heard made my soul rejoice.

Catherine lay in her bed with her nightlight on, surrounded by books and bears and blankets.  She was reading aloud The Prayer that Makes God Smile, underlining words with her finger, moving left to right, row after row as she read her own version of the story.

I love hearing her read, seeing what she remembers of books, and what she improvises.

I love seeing her mimic how we read to her.

I love that she gets how it works to see the letters on the pages and know that they make up the words we say.

But what I loved the most is the message she kept proclaiming tonight.

Yes, she really fell asleep like that one night.

"We have to eat every good thing.  Like apples and oranges and bananas.  Chips are ok.  Hummus is healthy."  She's been really interested in labeling food as "healthy" or "junk food" thanks to borrowing my parents' The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food.

"We have to obey our mommy and daddy.  We have to do what is right.  We have to obey God."  I started thinking of conversations I'd initiate tomorrow to talk about why we should obey.

"God always loves you.  God always protects you.  He protects you during the day, and He protects you at night.  He protects you from bees.

"He is with you always.  You can talk to Him all the time.  He listens to you all the time.  And He loves you all the time.  He is our provider, our helper, and our King.

"He loves you, guides you, and protects you.  Jesus died on the cross for you.  And He loves you always.  He loves you forever.  As long as I'm living, my Jesus He'll be."

She continued sharing the same positive message, some of which was borrowed from I'll Love You Forever  also from my folks' collection.

It was so encouraging to realize that she's hearing the message.

She's hearing it from Josh and me.  From her grandparents.  And aunts and uncles.  From her summer Wednesday church program.  From her teachers at Children's Church.  From the daily devotionals we have together.

We're doing something right!

And this "something" is a very important thing.

Feeling giddy and full of love and happiness at this moment.  Even though we are a household of sickies - coughs and colds, we have much to be thankful for.

So glad for our extended family nearby.

For extended in-laws who invite us into their family and into their home.  To share their food and their family traditions.

For singing and Christmas caroling.

For Christmas lights and Christmas trees.  Ornaments that Catherine helped put on the tree this year.

For this angel of ours who got to participate in her first Christmas pageant:


For generosity and unexpected gifts in the mail.

For Christmas cards - the ones we send and the ones we receive.  Even the ones where we don't even know the sender.  Ha!

For Christmas Break and times of rest and extra sleep.

For coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and other beverages to keep us warm and toasty.

For unexpected warmer temps and even a bit of sunshine this week.

For celebrating the holiday three days in a row with three sets of family.

For the kick I get when people ask Catherine if Santa is bringing her lots of presents, and she has no idea what they're talking about.  Santa WHO??

For fun, family Christmas movies we can watch together - Charlie Brown and White Christmas this year.

For almost escaping the holiday season without hearing "Christmas Shoes" - so close!!

For anticipating a trip to IKEA and goodies to bring home to make our house homier.

This makes me happy.

Isn't there some great quote about good intentions and plans?

Well, life doesn't always go as planned.

I'm sure we've all learned that by now.
In one way or another.

I shared about it before, but it was never our plan that Catherine would be our only child.


I don't want to offend or hurt others with sensitive topics, but at the same time, I want to write my thoughts.  So, if you are sensitive to the subjects of having children, only children, conceiving, pregnancy, or infertility and don't want to read or think about such things, feel free to skip this post.

I've started writing this post a few times in my head but never actually on the laptop.

Or the blog.
Where others can see it.

But I'm all about keeping it real lately.  I am encouraged when others do, so maybe my risk of vulnerability will be in some small way an encouragement to someone who needs it.

For the last few years I've created a grand Christmas card/letter/photo montage.

Yes, even when I was single.

I know the idea of doing such a thing is sometimes mocked, but I think it's great.  I'm always happy to get something like that from others in the mail and to keep up with friends from far away.  I also enjoy documenting a review of the year - maybe since my memory is so bad!

There may have been one year in there right after Catherine was born where it didn't happen because it was just too crazy of a time adjusting to life with a newborn, but I'm not sure (See:  I told you I had a bad memory).

For the last two years we've hired a photographer to take Family Photos for the purpose of including them in the annual Christmas card/letter/photo montage.

2012

2013

This year, however, I've just kept putting it off and putting it off and finding one excuse after another and finally having to accept the fact that Family Photos just might not happen this year.

And do you know why I haven't been so eager to make it happen?

Because this isn't the family I thought I would have this year.

Whoa.  I just wrote that.

Please please don't hear me saying that I'm not grateful for the family I have.  I am incredibly grateful for this family that God has put together.


But when I think about poses and I compare our family to other Family Pictures (it's quite hard to find families of three where the child isn't a baby), and then I find the families with a multitude of children. . .

It feels as if there should be another member to our family.

Oh man, this sounds ridiculous when I put it out there.  I know we have been blessed with our child, and I know there are those who would be happy with "just" one.  I am happy.

But it's been a process.  An adjustment.  And a letting go of my desires and my expectations (there's that word again) and my wants and the comparisons of others.

(Go ahead.  Insert the Frozen theme song here.)

And I guess I'm learning to do that.  To let go.

Because guess what:

It looks like we're actually getting Family Pictures taken this weekend.  Pray for me.  Pray for us.  Heck, pray for our photographer as he has to deal with us!

So, that's step one.

Step two will be actually choosing a photo to represent our family.

Step three will be ordering the photo cards and sharing them with our friends and family across the states.

And saying:  This is our family.  Our family of three.  That I am so blessed to have.  And so grateful for.  And I'm not going to love them any less if we are not blessed with more.

May I have that contentment.  May I have that peace.  May I have that joy.

Because this is so true:  "Comparison is the thief of joy."  - Theodore Roosevelt

I want to celebrate the crazy, silly family that we are.  Even if it doesn't look how we thought it would.  It it truly something to be thankful for!

Once upon a time there was a man who I thought I was going to marry.

I'll go ahead and ruin the ending for you:  I didn't.

There were painful and multiple breakups that led me down a path of great depression and loneliness.

An emptiness that only God could fill.

My battle cry during that period was that God was with me even if I couldn't feel His presence.  It was a daily reminder.

Time passed.  My heart healed.  And God brought someone else into my life who did indeed become my husband, for which I am so grateful.

But for a moment, let's go back to that former suitor.

One of the "red flag" warning signs for me that he was not my Mr. Right was seen every single time we went to church together:  He refused to sing.

The time of our church service where we gather to worship and sing praise to God together was often the most meaningful time of the service for me.  And then I would look over at him and see him standing there, just observing, and not participating.

But I'm not going to dwell on the negative.  Or the past.

So fast forward a few years to this point in time.

The man that God brought to me is a music teacher.  And he regularly serves on the Worship Team at our church.  Those are the people who sing on stage as a guide and model to others.

He sings.
He likes to sings.
He loves to sing.

Tomorrow, for the second time, he is filling in for our regular Worship Leader and leading the entire congregation in singing.


 This irony is not lost on me.

I'm glad I waited and did not settle for what was not God's best for me.

God is the giver of all good things, and I am rich from His blessings.  Thank you, God.

Not to get all Martha Stewart on you or anything, but I've just been more aware lately of these good things...

• my little family
• play dates
• hospitality
• girls night out
• community
• learning more about myself
• listening to God
• The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
• pedicures
• a new hair-do
• weekly accountability
• new friendships
• Catherine learning and growing

• thanking God for my blessings
• the crispness of fall
• pumpkin recipes
• simplicity
• getting to miss my family on occasion IE time spent apart
• parents & in-laws
• having many of Catherine's aunts, uncles, and cousins nearby
• the tremendous amount of work my husband does for our family
• looking forward to Fall Break
  
  
  
  
  

So many times I hear or think about the phrase "In the wrong place at the wrong time."

I've experienced it too.

Not as traumatically as others.  As I reflect back on 9/11, it's clear many people that day were "in the wrong place at the wrong time."

You hear about these freak accidents of a tree randomly falling on someone.  Sadly, I am aware of multiple freak accidents like that.

Or a car crash - what are the chances that those two vehicles would cross paths at that same time?

But tonight was different.

Tonight I was in the right place at the right time.

And I look back over the evening and ponder so many things that put me in that place at that precise time.

It's Friday night.  We like to go out for dinner on Friday nights.  We went to our favorite local restaurant.  And we were famished, so we went early.

I think about our waiter and how he served us and at what pace.
I think about our toddler and how she behaved remarkably well, which allowed us to stay for an extended time.
I think about how I forgot to use the restroom like I had planned, which would have altered the time we left the restaurant.

So many little things that caused us to be in the parking lot at our car at the exact time we were.

Catherine was slowly (of course) getting into her car seat, and we were patiently (of course) waiting.

BOOM!

What was that??

I look up and over back toward the restaurant.  Oh man, a truck just backed into another car.  Or did two vehicles back into each other?  No, that silver car is empty.  Oh man, the truck just hit a second car!  What is going on??

Knowing with no doubt in my mind what I need to do, I start walking over toward the vehicle in question.  Wait a minute, um, he's not stopping.  What??  No, he seriously can't be driving away from such obvious, hard hits.

Another patron is approaching the truck and talking with the driver.

Was it his car the guy hit?  Does he know him?  Are they in on this together?  No, he's trying to convince the driver to stop.

Wait.  The guy is driving away.  What?  Somebody stop him.  How?  I keep getting closer to the scene, but the guy is getting away.

I approach the group of people there who had seen it and learn that not only had they seen this man hit the cars, but they also saw him stumbling drunk out of the restaurant.

My brain just keeps going.  Who do we need to contact?  What action needs to be taken?

I know.

It's been a LONG time since I've had to use it, but I know I need to call 911.

Between the few of us there, we are able to give a decent description of the driver and his vehicle (which included a dent in the driver door) and the direction he was going when he left the parking lot.

But time quickly passes.  He goes around the corner.  And is gone.

After the call I continue conversing with the other witnesses.  I walk back to our car where my husband and daughter are patiently waiting.  I know what we have to do next.  I direct Josh to go in the direction the truck went.

I'm not optimistic, but I'm determined.

We go slowly, scanning all driveways, parking lots, side streets.  And as we do, I'm so mad at myself for not taking a picture of the guy or his vehicle.

I had said his license plate number out loud, but only remembered a few of the digits.  TK and an 8 and 9 somewhere.  Maybe a 1, 5, and 3.

What color was the truck?  Silver?  Tan?  How can it be a mixture of both??

We go through a nearby neighborhood and look at the plates of a couple similar looking trucks.

"TK!"  I exclaim and then realize it's the start of all the truck license plates.  Darnit!

We search down one more side street; then my phone rings.  It's dispatch.  They want the info of the vehicles that were hit.  They tell me an officer is at the scene.  I tell them I'll go back to talk to the officer.

On the way back we continue searching.  Josh's slow driving was driving me bonkers.  He told me I needed to calm down.  I told him I would if he'd step it up a bit.

As we pull back into the parking lot I see the police car ahead.  And as we're approaching it, I stare down one more truck going in the opposite direction.  Dented driver door.  I turn around and see an 8 and 9 in the license plate!  It's him!

"Pull up to the police car!"  I holler at Josh, knowing time is of the essence.

"I think that's the guy!!" I shout to the patrolwoman.  She asks if I was the one who got hit.

"No, I'm the one who called 911."

She took my word and went off after him.

Fast forward a bit to another phone call with dispatch.  I gave them additional information, and the dispatcher said, "It looks like they got him."

"Really?!  It was him?!"  I thought it was too good to be true.

I was astounded.  Excited.  Proud.

"Sorry," I apologized for my enthusiasm.  "I'm just a fighter of injustice.  And I feel like tonight justice won!"  My eyes teared up, and I swallowed a lump in my throat.

After I got off the phone, I contemplated that maybe the dispatcher just made that up to shut me up.  But I figured I'd let myself believe it for now anyways.

Fast forward to later at home.  The police officer who I literally yelled at in the parking lot is calling me.  And sure enough.  She confirmed it.

"We got the guy.  You were right.  It was him.  He had a blood alcohol level almost three times the legal limit.  He's locked up in jail."

My heart smiled.  It burst with joy.

Justice did win tonight.  It may not tomorrow or the day after that.  But I'm going to enjoy tonight's win just for the moment.

When I texted the news to the other witness (the one who approached the truck, informing the drunk driver that he just hit two vehicles and was trying to convince him to not drive away), his response summed it up well, "Great to hear!  You may have saved a life tonight!"


Tonight I was in the right place at the right time.

But that's not enough.

It takes being in the right place at the right time, and doing the right thing.

I don't share this to boast.  I do it to encourage you that if you find yourself happening upon some form of injustice, don't assume someone else will fight it or let someone else deal with it.

I could have very easily just looked away, shaking my head, thinking "Bummer for them." after those cars were hit.  I could have taken the easy way out, thinking about how I just want to get on with my evening and head to Target.

I could have let the guy just drive on knowing he was drunk because how was I gonna stop him.  I could have viewed the whole situation as hopeless, not worth fighting.

But, I am a fighter.  There is hope.  And one person can make a difference.

There is victory for us injustice fighters tonight!

So, something a little more lighthearted today even though I'm still in pain.

Today is Friday.  Everybody loves Friday.

Why?

Because it's the beginning of the much anticipated weekend!!  Well, every day for the next couple months is like a weekend for me.
          
Why?

Because my husband is a teacher!  It's been one challenging year, but summer vacation is now his reward!  Way to go, honey!

School ran extra late this year due to an abundance of snow days.  Then this week we've been hosting a couple guys from SpringHill Day Camps as they have worked at our church all week.  It's been a blast for our church, for the campers, for the staff, and for us!

Catherine and her new buds Jason & Davis

I love hosting!  Sometimes I forget this when I get caught up in the day-to-day normal stuff of my life at home with a toddler.  It's nearly impossible to get any housework done when Catherine is around.  And 95% of the time Catherine is gone I'm out with her!  So, our house is very "lived in".  And there is no hiding that.

My mom came over last week to help me get organized and ready to host the boys.  We turned the living room into a bedroom.  I borrowed extra bedding, and we made good use of all the towels we got as wedding gifts.

We got extra groceries and made sure to have snacks on hand - healthy and not so healthy.


 I left notes on the mirror in the guest bathroom throughout the week and made sure everything was comfortable and welcoming.



One of the things I've been meaning to do for weeks finally got done knowing guests were coming.  I set up a coffee station in our kitchen!


I inherited this cart quite awhile ago from my generous friend Bria.  I was trying to set up my own place after moving back to the area, and she was so helpful in assisting me.  I decided it would be a perfect piece for a coffee station for awhile.


We take our coffee pretty seriously around here...


We take our coffee add-ins pretty seriously as well.  We like to have options...

 

And we like to have flavors...

Yes, those might be tears in my eyes.

Wow, what a day!  With my spirited toddler at her grandparents for the day, I had dreams of going vintage and resale shopping in Elkhart with my good friend Kate.  But now I'm thinking the day would have been less stressful if I had instead stayed home with the toddler.

It started in a most bizarre way, as Kate's first words to me were, "Did you know you have a huge chunk of ham in your driveway?"

In case you were wondering, the answer was no.  I did not know.

But she was right.


Up next was a soft pretzel from Ben's.  Great choice.

But next came hitting the worst pothole on US 33.  Hard.  I saw it at the last second and tried to dodge it, but I wasn't fast enough.  Sigh...

I saw my hubcap or something go rolling in my rear view mirror.  I knew it was unfortunate.  But then the car started shaking.  Darnit.  My tire was ruined. I guess this is what I get for pawning off my daughter and trying to have a day of indulgent shopping.


So glad my friend was with me, as my thinking slows down in situations like that.  She suggested to manuever my car around and turn off 33 and head into the Kohl's and Target parking lot.

Hey, if you're gonna be stranded, Target is a good place to be near.  Am I right?

So we made it into the lot by a huge dirty snow pile.  From there I spent a few minutes on the phone trying to get answers on our insurance coverage.  I spent more time listening to menu options than actually talking to a real person.  Finally got the answer I was expecting - no coverage.  I had recently heard about my friend's experience with pothole damage costing him over $1,000.  Just dandy.

I knew I couldn't bother Josh with any of this because this is one of his busiest weekends for work, and there would be nothing he could do to help me anyways.

In life I believe it's helpful to have connections with certain kind of people.  For example I'm glad I have a Lawyer Friend and a Police Officer Friend and a Doctor Friend for their occupational expertise and advice.  I quickly sent a text to our Car Repair Friend for his advice.

Unsure how else to spend the time, Kate and I walked to Target.  Of course.

After browsing the $1 section, I saw our Snow Plow Friend heading out of the store.  I quickly remembered he's also a Construction Friend, Handyman Friend, and basically a Jack-of-all-Trades Friend.  I yelled out his name across the store.  When you're desperate, you don't care about decorum.

I then proceeded to watch the fastest tire change I'd ever witnessed.  He gave me the name of a great place where I could go for a fix.  I put air in the spare (Josh should be so proud), called the tire shop, and left Target without even shopping and still with my unfinished Ben's pretzel from about 90 minutes prior.

Kate kindly kept me company at the tire shop, for which I am so grateful.  It's not the sort of place I'd really want to hang out alone.  They had "Friday the 13th" playing on the TV in the waiting corner - no separate lobby or waiting room; we were definitely just hanging out in a garage for an hour.  I was so grateful Catherine wasn't with me there.

After watching them do things I didn't know were possible, the guys were finished and gave me a bill. $60 later we were on our way out.

A non-moving train kept us extending our visit to the other side of the tracks for awhile longer, and we then reached the sad conclusion that we didn't have enough time to do any of our shopping in Elkhart.  Sigh...

What a day.


But boy am I grateful no one was hurt in our drama on the road.  Grateful there was a safe parking lot nearby that we made it to.  Grateful that our friend and I crossed paths at precisely the right time at Target.  Grateful for his DIY skills and recommendation of the affordable tire shop.  Grateful Kate was with me and Catherine wasn't.  Grateful all of this could be taken care of without having to add another stressor to Josh's day.  And grateful for that Ben's pretzel, which I finally finished eating.

Now, what to do with the ham...

So, we keep getting snow, snow, and more snow.  And the snow just keeps building up.  Most years we get snow, and then it melts.  This year has had  ridiculously high amounts of snowfall and ridiculously low temps.

Josh has had NINE snow days already!  It's been incredibly disrupting to reschedule so many things in his work life and our personal lives.

Anybody who knows me knows I do not like this kind of weather.  But, stay with me; I promise this is more than just another rambling rant against winter.

Last weekend we were out of town.  Josh had a work event all day Saturday.  I tend to go a bit too crazy when my weekend is too similar to my weekday (IE, just hanging out at home with a two year old).  So I planned to hang at my folks a couple towns over.  When Josh returned to us, the weather was lousy, and he didn't want to have to do anymore driving, so we stayed there.  We ended up going to the nearby church that I grew up in and we married in (fun trip down memory lane!) and then hanging around for the Super Bowl.

Meanwhile it kept snowing.

When we finally returned home 50-some hours later, we could barely make it into our driveway.  Then when we made it over the large mound of snow that had been plowed off the street onto the end of our drive, we got stuck in the driveway.  I lamented about it on facebook including the cherry on top of our return home - discovering that our furnace had stopped working at some point while we gone, brrrr!

The next day Josh dug himself out in order to get to work.  But I knew Catherine and I weren't going anywhere.

Later that afternoon after I put Catherine down for her nap and got comfy in a cozy chair in the front room, I soon saw a truck with a plow attacking the huge snow bank at the end of our driveway.  Before long it ran the entire length of our driveway multiple times.

I was shocked and delighted and slightly confused.  And grateful and humbled and blessed.

Our new friend from church who plows the church parking lot apparently decided to just show up and plow our driveway too.

No explanation.
No charge.
No expectations.
No warning.
No strings attached.

He just showed up. 

He knew what we needed and just showed up.

He just showed up and blessed us.

Blessed us with his resources and his talents. And then went on his way.

There was no calling ahead and offering help.  There was no "Let me know if you need anything."

He just showed up.

I never would have asked for his help.  But boy was I grateful when he offered it so selflessly.

A couple years ago a friend needed us.  He wasn't going to ask for our help or anyone else's.  But it was clear to me that he needed someone to show up and be with him.  We went.  No strings attached.  We just showed up.  He talked.  We listened.  We were there for him.  After an hour or so we prayed with him and left.  It was the right thing to do.

This poor guy Job in the Bible went through unbelievable loss in his life.  Lost his family, his possessions, almost everything.  And Job 2:11-13 tell us that when his three friends heard about his situation, they went to him.  They just showed up.  They didn't wait for an invitation.  They didn't offer a half-hearted "Let me know if you need anything."  They didn't even say anything to him.  They wept with him and sat with him.

They just showed up and let God guide them in anything else.

Think about that the next time you know someone who is hurting and needing something.

Don't wait for them to ask you for help.  Don't offer your help.

Just show up.

8.  I am grateful to finally have a dishwasher!

9.  Even more so, I am grateful for a dishwasher that works so well!  Many times I see dishes in it that obviously were not rinsed an inch, and I think, "Oh, no way that's gonna get clean!"  And a couple days later after the load has been washed and I'm putting dishes away, I am amazed that it's all clean!

10.  I am grateful to finally have a garage!


11.  Even more so, I am grateful for a two car oversized garage!  Winter is not my friend.  We've had a few frosty mornings recently, and it brings me great joy to be able to leave without having to scrape the car windows!!!

12.  I am grateful for date night with my hubby!  It doesn't happen often, and it's a great break when it does!


13.  I am grateful that Catherine is growing up in close proximity to her family.  I did not have that advantage as a child.  Neither did Josh.  It means the world to me that she knows her family and gets to see them often.



 14. As much as I hate politics, I am grateful for the freedom to vote.



15.  I am grateful for a big pot of coffee.

16.  I am grateful for nap time.  I know; I've already said it.  But this ought to give you an idea just how grateful I am!!

17.  I am grateful for sunshine - especially in these long, dreary months!

5.  I'm so grateful that God knows better than I do.

I was driving home from Aldi this evening when a song came on the radio that took me back to a time long ago and to a former crush.  Man, seriously, God protected me from so many lousy relationships.  I look at how this former crush has turned out, and I think about how other former crushes and former boyfriends or pseudo boyfriends have turned out.  I'm so glad I didn't end up with any of them.

Now I see a workaholic,
an alcoholic,
one who can't hold down a job,
one who didn't want children,
one who didn't see freedom in Christ,
one who wouldn't sing with me in church...

I could go on and on.

I am beyond grateful that God knew better than I did and did not allow of those past relationships to continue.  Of course at the time, I was naively seeing only the dreamy, good things and wearing blinders to the bad.

"God, why won't you just let me have what I want??"  I don't think I used those exact words, but that was pretty much my sentiment when none of the relationships continued.

And it wasn't until years later that my blinders were removed, and I saw all that God had protected me from.

Thank you, God.  Thank you for doing things in Your time, not mine.  Thank you for knowing better than I do.

3.  I am thankful for Target's policy that allows me to get the sale price of an item after I bought it at regular price a couple weeks prior.

4.  I am thankful for a husband who does so much for our family - tending to Catherine when she occasionally cries in the middle of the night or frequently cries in the early morning, changing poopy diapers, cleaning toilets, climbing onto the roof to clear out gutters, mowing, raking, cooking meals, skyping during his lunch break, working long, hard days so I can stay home with Catherine, washing dishes, bringing me flowers, dusting, vacuuming, and making me pumpkin pancakes.  Phew!  I am SO grateful that he is my husband and Catherine's daddy!!!