Profound Thought at an Odd Time

October 12, 2008

For the last 2 days I was working a home tour. It was a great time, but exhausting. Working as a "house hostess", I got to stay in the same house for the whole time. It is by far my favorite home of this block. But I think the reason it's my favorite is because of the people who live there. I adore them.

A married couple probably in their 50's. 2 grown kids, 2 grandkids. They've been together since she was 14!

I spent last year's home tour at their house too. I love being around them because I learn so much from them. I'm not talking about home decor or historic preservation or those of things. I learn about relationships and marriage and what I want in my potential marriage of the future.

Every time I am around these two, it is plainly obvious how much he adores her. You can just see it.

Over the last 14 months as I have battled and struggled to try to figure out my now past relationship, I often thought back to this couple and his obvious adoration for her. I realized I didn't want to be with someone who put up with me. I wanted to be with someone who adored me.

I think it goes the other way too. I should be with someone whom I adore.

On the drive home today in a quiet car in the dark, I again thought of these things. I thought about feelings, about love, about adoration. Remembering how I felt and realizing how I feel now. And this thought occurred to me:

Love is a choice.

I know I've heard that and thought that before. But it was suddenly so obvious - and in a personal way.

I'm still learning a lot. This series of break-ups have taken quite a toll on me, to be honest. In fact, this morning I arrived pretty early at the house, so the wife and I were lounging in the sun room chatting. And she said, after having met the boyfriend last year and not seeing me since, "I looked for a ring. I'm surprised you're not married yet."

Our conversing look a whole new level then as I talked about her husband's adoration for her and what a model it is for what I want. I couldn't stop the tears.

I say all this because these are my thoughts. Thoughts from a very sleepy girl, right? I'm not trying to be rude or scornful in any way. Believe me, I've seen enough of horribly rude public behavior over the internet after a breakup, and it's beyond appalling. I'm really trying hard to take the higher road and not do that.

I just wanted to share my honest thoughts with you and hopefully encourage you with whatever situation you happen to be going through. Maybe you need the reminder to love. Maybe you need the reminder to adore. Maybe you need the reminder that you deserve better. Maybe you needed to be reminded that love is a choice. Choose to love.

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  1. I just read this post again and STILL love it!!! There is just so much feeling behind it.


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