I am a reluctant entertainer.

I always like the idea of being hospitable.
Inviting people over.
Hosting people in our home.

When we moved to The Old Yellow Farmhouse I had grand expectations of how we would use our home to welcome people in.

But I always had - and still have - a handful of excuses that prevent me from inviting people over often.

Inviting someone into your home is like inviting someone into a deeper part of your life.  Not just the parts you proudly share on social media, but also the messy parts that typically aren't exposed.

The part I'm not supposed to show

It's revealing.
It's vulnerable.
It's nerve-wracking.

But tomorrow we're doing it.

We're having guests over for dinner.

Of course I'm feeling all last minute frantic and insecure.  So, what do I do?  I decide the pillows and throw on the grey couch need to go on the green couch, and the pillows and throw on the green couch need to go on the grey couch.

For crying out loud, the kitchen table STILL has a toy cash register on it, but I'm swapping out decorative pillows.  UGH!

Now mind you, I can't make the house too clean.  I read once somewhere that the nicest thing you can do when you invite a friend over is to not clean your house.  I guess the thinking is that if your house is messier than hers, she'll feel better about herself and her home or something along those lines.

We have to find that right balance where we treat our guests well and make them feel special, but also allow our guests to see the real us.  Flaws and all.

Fingerprints on the bathroom mirror.
A stain in the carpet.
Dust on the entertainment center.
A laundry room full of laundry.
Christmas decor still up in February (ahem).

Being authentic in our homes encourages us to be authentic in our conversations.
Opening up our homes helps us open up ourselves.
Being real about stains makes us more likely to be real about our struggles.

And I think deep down we all long for those friendships where we can be honest about ourselves and our trials, our questions and our concerns.  I hope tomorrow's dinner is a step toward that realness.

But, mark my words, that cash register will get put away.

There were professional photographers taking fabulous pictures at Saturday's lovely co-ed bridal shower.  But who knows when/if I'll ever have those photos in my possession.  So, I'm sharing the few pictures that I took in the midst of the craziness of last minute details.

My sister-in-law Jen's sister Charissa is getting married in Indy next month, and lots of her friends around here had yet to meet her fiance, so I thought a co-ed shower was the perfect solution.  I offered to host and convinced Jen to host with me.  We make a good team!

I always love brunch.  Except for the fact that it means less time to get things ready.  But beyond that, it provides so much flexibility and fun and general lightheartedness.

We went with a rustic theme, and I got to use a bunch of mason jars for the first time.  Yah, I know, I'm a few years behind when it comes to trends.

Oh well.

The first food idea that really started the whole menu was this bad boy:

oh, YES, that IS chicken + waffles!

That branched into kind of a comfort food theme, adding in some favorites of the bride-to-be.

Our full spread consisted of both savory and sweet:

• mini quiche (rosemary + tomato and bacon + cheddar
• mini mac n cheese bites
• chicken + waffles
• fruit skewers
• yogurt parfaits
• mini muffins (banana nut and lemon poppy seed)
• monkey bread
• cranberry almond coffee cake
• finished with a variety of cupcakes

Bunting courtesy of Monkey and Lamb

"Savory"

"Sweet"

I love menus on display.

There's just something so pretty about yogurt parfaits and fresh fruit.

"You are the icing to my cupcake."

Yah, lots of love right there.

I can't do two events in five days.

Especially when I'm sick.

Saturday's bridal shower was awesome.  I'm so grateful for so much help from others.  I can't even imagine getting through it without their help.

Saturday night Catherine started getting sick.

Now I have it.

And my first Women's Ministry event is in two days.

Of course I'm no where near ready.

Because all my focus has been on Saturday's event. And Catherine's health.  And now my own.

And because I don't do well with church politics.  And bureaucracy.  And trying to navigate my way down the proper channels of communication and permission.

Sometimes it's just easiest for me to do my own thing instead of trying to follow somebody else's arbitrary preferences.

I have a voice.  Let it be heard.

I have gifts.  Let them be shared.

I have passion.  Let it be used.

If this is offensive to you, blame my fever.  Or the strong odor of my perfume that Catherine got into while I was resting.  But you're probably not one of my regular readers anyways.

Now I'm gonna curl back up in my blankets.

A few weeks ago my status on facebook said something like, "Planning a bridal shower, Catherine's birthday party, my mom's birthday party, and two women's events.  I'm in heaven."

It was heaven then, but as the events get closer, they always morph into something else.

It's crunch time for the bridal shower now.  Three days away.  I'm excited about it, but there is much to be done.

Decided to use this stash that I had gotten over multiple purchases, all on clearance

My sister-in-law Jen is co-hosting with me, and we are having the event at her church.  It definitely alleviates some stress to not have to hold an event in your home.  No worries about cleaning up your house - on top of everything else that has to be done for event prep.  But it does add a new set of challenges.

We planned on starting set-up Wednesday or Thursday, working all day Friday, and then doing last minute food Saturday morning.  However, we hadn't planned for the unexpected:  death.

Yep, there's going to be a funeral and funeral dinner at the church Friday evening.  Definitely out of our control.

So, we will head over after her kiddos and mine are in bed, work late Friday night, get up early (painful for me) Saturday, and work til the shower starts at 11.


The overwhelmed paralysis has set in.  I just keep adding to my lists of "Things To Do" and "Things To Take". 

Fortunately, Jen and I make a great team when it comes to events, and she's able to do much to help.  Also her mom and sister Stephanie are helping with a couple items.  This special event is to celebrate her sister Charissa's upcoming marriage.  A lot of Charissa's family friends in this area haven't met her fiance, so we decided to include him and make it co-ed.

I'm going with kind of a rustic, comfort-food theme.  Nothing overly frilly or fancy, since there will be men there.  I'm excited to be trying some new things for this event.  But I'm also well aware of how much still needs to be done!  It will be a night of little sleep.

When it's over tomorrow, I will rest.

And then start focusing on next week's event.

I went to a really awesome Women's Retreat last week.  And it's got me thinking a lot about the expectations of being a "good mom" or a "perfect wife" or a "Proverbs 31 woman".

• own a big house
• invite people over often
• clean that big house
• make meals
• make healthy meals
• organic, gluten free, GMO free meals
• no fast food
• meal plan
• make freezer meals
• make meals for others
• bake coookies
• keep a full cookie jar
• have clear kitchen counters
• have granite countertops
• serve in the church
• nursery duty Sunday
• nursery duty Wednesday
• attend Bible study
• host Bible study
• attend small group
• host small group
• have daily devotions
• have daily family devotions
• have daily devotions with husband
• have a happy marriage
• have lots of sex
• have lots of children
• sacrificially give up sleep
• sew
• own a minivan
• drive other people's kids around
• take the neighborhood to church
• take the church to the neighborhood
• serve the less fortunate
• make memories for child(ren)
• have craft time with child
• give up coffee
• go to bed early
• get up early
• exercise
• daily laundry
• mop
• wear an apron
• wear makeup
• wear heels
• have nice matching furniture that isn't second-hand or stained
• have a queen or king sized bed
• . . .

It keeps going and going.
It's enough to make me crumble.
And weep.
And give up.

Because [clearly] I can't do it all.

The question I keep coming back to is "Where do these expectations come from?"

God never called me to be Super Woman.  He's the One I say I live for and care about.  Then why am I stressing about doing all these other things that He's never called me to do?

One point our speaker made at the retreat is that God's not calling me to do, do, do.  He's calling me to be.

To be His daughter.  To be in His presence.

Look at the Bible passage about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42.
Oh, this story has always made me squirm.

Because, like Martha, I'm a doer.  I think of all the work that needs to be done.  And I try to do it.  And then I get ticked off when others aren't doing their fair share.

In this passage, Martha is feeling the same way.  And Jesus totally calls her out on it, and says she can stop trying to do it all.  He never asked her to do it all.  In fact He doesn't want her to do it all.  He wants her to just be.  To sit at His feet and to be with Him.

Oh, Lord, can I do that?  Is it possible to overlook the messy house and the overflowing baskets of laundry and the over-scheduled calendar to focus on what You have truly called me to do??



My friend Lisa-Jo just wrote about NOT Doing It All.  Her honesty was much appreciated and needed.  The part that impacted me the most was kind of some behind-the-scenes information.  The "story behind the photo" if you will.

A couple days prior she had posted a photo of her sweet kiddos all lined up in a row, sitting nicely on the couch, all happy and well fed with bowls of food in their laps.  It was cute.  Of course.


Then I found out the story behind the photo:  Lisa-Jo had just gotten home from traveling out of town for a few days to a conference where she was a speaker.  Though she was delighted to be home and with her kids again, she was also exhausted.  She got Chinese take-out, put it in bowls, lined them up on the couch with dinner and Netflix while she napped.

Can I get a "Hallelujah" for a nap?
Can I get a "Hallelujah" for such honesty?
Can I get a "Hallelujah" for takeout and tv for those moments when we just can't do it all and we need to be real and ok with that?

Another friend's husband recently posted "Judging by my facebook feed, if you haven't taken your kids to an apple orchard or a pumpkin patch yet this fall, you're a horrible parent."  Though obviously tongue-in-cheek, it puts into explicit words what we may be feeling tinges of when we compare our lives to those showing up in our newsfeed.

I can't allow others' snippets of life and snapshots momentarily on display to decide the expectations of my day-to-day reality.

Lord, help me to know what YOU expect of me.  May I strive for only the things that bring glory to you.

I find this so hard to believe, so strange, so bizarre that I have to document it!

A couple days ago I had a sudden, obscure thought:  I don't want to go all out for Catherine's birthday party.

WHAT???

Since when??

And why??

I am The Party Planner.  I love it!  I long for parties to plan.  I live for party planning.  Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration, but my point is clear.



So, why am I all of the sudden having these bizarre thoughts?

Thoughts like...

Maybe we don't need to provide a meal; that's a LOT of work.

Maybe I don't need to invite 85% of the people I know.

Maybe I should shorten the party time.

Maybe I should do less.

It was like I suddenly realized how hard party planning is and how maybe I don't need to put myself through all that.  Honestly, the last party I planned, I had to cancel the day of because I got severely sick.  And, there was actually a huge relief that washed over me after it was canceled.

Where is this coming from???  Who will win in the end?  The Party Planner or The Simplifier?!?

I'm just gonna say it:

I HATE WINTER.

I swear every year is worse than the last.  I hate it, hate it, hate it.

We have had uber cold temps - especially for December!  The other morning I called the "time & temp", and it said "-5".  Did you hear that, people?!?  NEGATIVE FIVE!!!!!  And we had to go out in it!

Then today we got dumped on by snow ALL day.  I mean, we woke up to it, and it just kept coming and coming.  Again, the perfect sort of day to just stay home, right?

But we had places to go and people to see.  It was a full day for our schedule.

I had to venture out first for a neighborhood board meeting (oh yes, I'm now on our neighborhood board).

We later attended a "Gotcha Party" to celebrate our friends adopting a daughter.

Our third event of the day - a Christmas Open House - got postponed because of the awful roads/weather.  So instead we made a Target run and then treated ourselves to Hacienda.  Yum!

Catherine, our lovely now two year old, cut our dinner short by behaving like a two year old, and on the way home, I said to Josh, "I don't know if it's even worth it to go out anymore."

I wasn't saying this because of the weather.  I was saying this because we end up so exhausted from dealing with her antics that it's making me ponder just staying home.

I really don't have anything important to say.  I just realized it had been a long time since I'd posted, and the last post was such a downer that I thought I'd post something random and lighthearted.

Oh, poor Catherine every so often has problems pooping.  We have yet to pinpoint the cause, but sometimes she gets pretty constipated and then when she tries pooping (still in a diaper, BTW) she just cries, poor girl.  I talk to her all the time, so recently I started trying to explain to her that it hurts because she's constipated.  I thought it might help her understand part of it if I named/defined the problem.

So now when she's trying to poop - which isn't just in the comfort of a bathroom, mind you, but out in public - she cries and yells "I'M CONSTIPATED!!"

Poor girl, but funny.  I can't help but chuckle.  It's just funny to hear that shouted from a two year old.

So, going back to the Christmas Open House I mentioned...  I am SO excited for this party!!  Fortunately, instead of just canceling it, it was postponed to tomorrow evening.  I should really lower my expectations so that I don't set the bar too high and then feel letdown.  But, seriously, I am pumped!  The hosts are new friends from our church, and it sounds like they love to entertain as much as I do.  Anticipating this event is making me remember how much I used to frequent parties, and realize how much I miss attending and hosting parties!!

I've done a football themed birthday party for Josh the last two years, so I think I'm going to make that an annual thing - maybe move it up a bit to hopefully get nicer weather so the party can expand outside if desired or needed.  We don't have a TON of space indoors, so I like the thought of being able to expand onto the back deck, the front porch, and the back yard.

Football shaped brownies (not as easy as I expected them to be) on a football field platter

Veggies, dip, and hummus in my football shaped bowl

I think this diamond partyware is the first set of fun partyware that I got.

I loved getting to use that condiment holder - 1st time!

This was definitely one of the smallest spreads I've done at a party; I was trying to scale back so I wouldn't get too stressed and overwhelmed.

Catherine in her Notre Dame jersey helping Daddy blow out the birthday cake candles

This shows a perfect example of someone practicing our family tradition of cutting your own piece of cake - however you like it!

My nephew in his ND jersey

My niece and daughter have often worn matching ND dresses this year - how fun!

 I didn't intend to turn this into a party post, but oh well.  Hopefully I'll be able to post sometime soon about Catherine's 2nd birthday party.

One of these days...

• I'll catch up on posting photos of Catherine
• I'll dust
• I'll pick up
• I'll pack up
• I'll get organized
• I'll purge
• I'll take that ever growing pile to Goodwill/Salvation Army
• I'll do something with all the food in our pantry
• I'll get the cloth napkins out
• I'll use those square appetizer plates
• I'll entertain again
• I'll hang things on the walls
• I'll put together our wedding guest book
• I'll frame photos
• I'll find a matching coffee table and end tables
• I'll update our family blog
• I'll get baby announcements made
• I'll send the Christmas/New Years/Valentines/Easter letter
• I'll finish the thank you notes
  

But not today. These days I'm lucky if I get more than 6 hours of sleep. It's a good day if I can make myself breakfast to eat in the car and remember to pack a lunch. It's a good thing if dirty clothes make it into the laundry basket. Or even near it.

These days the bar is pretty low. And I'm ok with that. I have to be.

These days, it's just about survival.

Since I got so much love from posting yesterday (and since I have the time) I decided I'd write again today.

I received a lot of feedback about the color combo of red and turquoise. I must admit I did not come up with this gem. My friend and co-worker Tobi did. She designs scrapbook layouts so she is creative like that. She briefly mentioned the combo in class to some of our students, one of whom promptly used those two colors to design some geometric shape he was creating for math class. It looked great! And inspiration struck!

I was planning a bridal shower for my friends J & J last month and wasn't sure what colors or theme to use. I had just picked up a set of porcelain stands with red ribbon woven through the edges (seeing the picture below is better than me trying to describe them) over spring break and wanted to use them somehow in the spread. Knowing their wedding color is similar to turquoise (I think it's official name is oasis), I realized I could decorate with the theme of those two colors.

It was super exciting to put together my serving pieces or partyware as I like to call them. Partyware is kind of something I collect I guess you could say. I feel like it's been too long since I've gotten much use out of them, but I know that will change once we have more space to entertain. I kid you not, I finalized the shower menu based on what partyware I wanted to use. Reminds me of the days when I used to plan an outfit based on what purse I wanted to carry that day.

Warning: if you have zero interest in entertaining you might want to skip over the next section. However, I burst at the seams when it comes to this kind of stuff. So, here's what we ended up with (you can view it larger by clicking on the picture:


We set the table with Mom's red tablecloth and added turquoise placemats, which were a wedding gift. From the left we have red plates (sale at Meijer) and turquoise napkins (leftover from our wedding reception, bought them from a great place in Elkhart), a crockpot of meatballs (they tasted as if I actually knew what I was doing when I made the sauce to go with them!), pigs in a blanket (hadn't made these in ages!) on a red platter. Oh, and the spoon rest for the meatballs is turquoise (got it in Broad Ripple in Indy with Charissa a couple years ago)! Next in the back is the new stands that started this whole spread (scroll down for a close-up). I got those at Home Goods (my new favorite store) in Schaumburg over spring break. The fab cheese ball was on sale at Martin's! The fresh strawberries were perfect in my turquoise colander (I think I squealed when I realized I could use that as partyware!) from Maine. To manage water drippage (and make the colander pop) I placed the colander on a platter that contained, among other colors, red and aqua diamonds - one of my very first partyware pieces.

Next is a great square shaped bowl set on a platter with an aqua and white Celtic design; this held a seasoned Chex mix. I didn't want the menu too stuffy or fancy as it was a co-ed shower. In front of that were fresh veggies on a red platter (I got those red platters on clearance after Valentine's Day or Christmas one year) along with a light dill dip in a turquoise bowl (I got a set of these at the fabulous Junk Evolution for our wedding reception dessert and candy buffet). Stay with me; I'm almost done. Finally in back is red cups from Meijer, a spread of sodas, and a turquoise pitcher (wedding gift) with water with lemon. In front is a glass turquoise platter with cream puffs. This platter I normally use for decor, not food. I had a set of votives on it, but I/Josh made sure to wash it real good. I got it at a cute store in St. Joseph, MI and later went back and got a matching square one as well. The rectangular one is on display in our office; the square in our living room. It worked out well that a lot of our home decor and wedding decor is/was aqua.

Here's a close-up of the new stands.

The cake was great too; the couple requested a boston creme style. It looked and tasted fabulous! I have THE best cake lady! (The bride's and groom's nicknames are J-La & J-Stan)
And I just had to throw this in as well. Yes, I wore turquoise to match the decor. And the bride-to-be noticed! :)

We rented the community center at the couple's apartment complex to hold the shower. Had a nice turnout, good visiting, a fun game where the bride tried to guess the groom's answers to questions such as "How much cash are you carrying right now?" and "What brand of deodorant do you use?" and the groom tried to answer questions for the bride such as, "What did you wear on your first date" and "If you could get rid of one of his things, what would it be?" I must say they did quite well! We did cake and gifts and wrapped it up. Easy peazy and fun!

Congratulations, Jen and Jonathan!