My 20's are ending. Soon. Technically 3 1/2 hours til I exactly turn 30. 3 hours if you consider midnight the change. May be sooner if I continue to feel so sleepy and just call it a day (or a decade) soon here.

I wish I was doing something more exciting rather than sitting on my couch blogging on my laptop.

I have given serious thought to a tattoo and will continue to think about it. But it isn't something I want to rush into. Since, after all, it is permanent.

Something happened tonight that has just taken my heart and shaken it up. It's all lopsided and off-center and screwy right now. And I don't like it. I want to forget it ever happened. My heart feels confused, and I don't want to end my 20's this way. I wish I could just snap out of it, but I'm struggling.

I'm feeling exhausted. I've been incredibly stressed and emotionally exhausted this week. So much to do. So much going on.

I just wish I wasn't alone tonight.

The good news is that my scheduled jury duty for tomorrow has been canceled! Hooray!!! Can you imagine having to serve jury duty on your birthday?! So wrong!

OK! I've made up my mind! I'm going to pop in The Sound of Music - the movie that brought me into the world 30 years ago! How perfect. We'll see if I can stay awake for it all!

Goodbye, 20's. Hello, 30. Yikes!

· Preparing to say goodbye to my California driver’s license

· Studying up for the written test to get an Indiana driver’s license

· Dealing with insurance and medical & dental bills

· Realizing (again) what a great doctor I have

· Reminiscing about slipdresses. Remember those from the 90’s?!? AHHHH!!!

· Getting kind of bored with just channels 57 (ABC) and 25 (WB)

· Wondering how long I can go without that converter box

· Doing laundry

· Wondering who has seen Slumdog Millionaire

· Getting used to my new hair color

· Writing 3^rd grade curriculum

· Trying to write a birthday wish list and struggling (I guess I just feel so content with most of what I already have)

· Getting excited for Shamrock Shake time!!!

· Cooking with my honey

· Praying for friends

· Getting ready to finish up the Biggest Loser contest at the gym & anxiously awaiting the results!!

· Being way too nervous about everything going on this week

· Feeling honored by friends coming into town for my birthday celebration

Got 5 1/2 minutes? My pastor posted this on his site. Watch it.

Only 3 more days left in my 20's. Gulp!

I need suggestions on how I should spend my last couple few days of my 20's and suggestions on what I should do on my 30th Birthday.

During the day Thursday the plan is to serve jury duty. What a great way to spend my birthday (she said sarcastically)! But then I have the evening. I'll be with Josh; I just don't know what I want to do or where I want to go.

Suggestions please?!?

1. Sleep in.
2. Wear brown velour sweatsuit.
3. Get picked up by my dad.
4. Eat a healthy lunch with parents.
5. Shop at Dollar Tree & Meijer.
6. Enjoy a nonfat, sugar-free cinnamon dolce from Starbucks.
7. Put together centerpieces for birthday party.
8. Clean my apartment.
9. Get my guest bedroom ready for overnight guests.
10. Offer to make my boyfriend a meal. But that can wait til tomorrow. A not so lazy Sunday.


Me and Dad at Meijer. I was so excited to see the spill stopper plug thingies that the Texas Starbucks had. Dad was just ready to go home and nap by this point. Ha ha.

I had a wonderful Valentine's Day! I got to sleep in and enjoy some 90's music on U93 before heading out to my church. It was my first time being involved in REEF (Reaching Everyone, Evangelizing Freely), our No-Strings-Attached ministry to the community. I loved it and wish it could have lasted longer! Very simply, I went out with a couple other ladies and gave flowers and candy to strangers in the Target parking lot! I smiled and said, "This is for you! Happy Valentine's Day from Living Stones Church!" People were always pleasantly surprised.

I then spent a couple hours back home, tidying up my apartment and myself, getting all prettied up for the evening. My honey arrived early and we exchanged gifts. I surprised Josh with a Columbia jacket we had seen at Kohl's the other day. It had been a challenge to talk him out of buying it without talking him out of liking it! He surprised me with beautiful bright pink roses and a gift bag full of goodies - a layered candle that matches my living room, cd's full of songs that remind him of me (this makes my heart melt!), a photo album inscribed with "We remember the moments" for all my photo-documenting, yummy chocolates, and a wonderful card, which I treasure.

Then it was on to dinner at Bonefish Grill. It was my first time there, and it was good! The haddock special I ordered was amazing! After dinner we had some time, so we wandered around the mall. It was fun since we were all dressed up. People kept complimenting us. I guess they don't typically see that at the mall!

We headed downtown to the Morris for the symphony! They, along with two vocalists, did a special show called "Love Songs from Hollywood to Broadway." It was such a delight! Afterwards, we walked to the Chocolate Cafe, the place of our first date. We reminisced and picked out some chocolates to sample, along with chocolate covered strawberries, which I must say, I boldly proclaimed that mine are better. I guess that means I'd better remember how to make them.

We came back home to relax for awhile before calling it a night. The day was preceded by dinner with my family (the first meeting!) and wandering and meandering around various stores Friday and followed by attending church together and enjoying lunch with his family Sunday.

I am crazy about this man! I don't care if we're dressed up at the symphony listening to love songs or sitting at the cafe at Barnes and Noble flipping thru magazines, sipping coffee. As long as I am with Joshy, I am happy. The Lord has blessed me - with Josh and with both our families.

My thoughts whip around as quick and strong as the winds we've had.

The weather yesterday was crazy. Started warm enough for flip flops. By evening I switched to flats with socks and made sure I had my sweatshirt going out.

Book Club was moved because the power was out at church. Our tiny group of 3 (where is the commitment, people?? I don't get it.) met at Martin's. I was closing in prayer an hour later, "God, help us to know you are always with us, even when we don't feel your presence." BAM! All the lights at Martin's went out.

Ok, God.

The rain was blowing sideways as I left Martin's and met my girl J-La at Panera. Rough times for her, but she is strong. She is a survivor.

By the time we left there, it was a strange slush blizzard with chunks of hard, wet slushy snow. I had to go to Kohl's because I knew if I didn't stop then, I'd never go.

Too bad I didn't have a jacket. Slush down the back of my shirt. I shrieked.

Then on to my parents' house. Catching up with my amazing mom. Endless talking. All in the dark. Their power was out too. Home at midnight.

Long day. Challenging day. Frustrating day. Busy day.

It started with oatmeal exploding in the microwave. I just stood there for awhile, unsure of how to respond. I started whining and said, "I just can't deal with this." I kept standing there, just breathing and thinking and trying to deal. I finally decided that the appropriate response would be to take a picture.




And then suddenly it just wasn't so bad anymore.

Had a headache all day. Highlight was lunch with my sister-in-law-in-law. But it flew by so fast. Again, that wind...

It was warm enough to walk there but pouring rain afterwards. On the way there I was stunned to have a muscular man with a police badge walk towards me smiling. "Hey there! Do you remember me?" It was innocent enough. I gave it some thought.

"You look familiar... (pause) Oh! (pause) I beat you up!" I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth. I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt with him, grabbing his sweatshirt and giving him a hard time. Good ol' Anthony from the SBPD. We had a nice conversation. He said he never forgets a face. I would add, especially one that kicks the crap out of him.

That was yesterday. One day. Out of many. Tuesday requires its own post. As does today. Will it actually happen?

It's been a busy week. I'm not getting enough sleep. Tomorrow is weigh-in. Did I ever mention that I'm in a contest at the gym? I'm not doing so well. It's easy to get depressed and think why should I bother? But I want to be a healthy eater again. I used to be. I want that to be me again.

Tomorrow - another day. With its own challenges. Some just like all the other days. Others unique to tomorrow no doubt. But also with its own blessings as well.

I've been SO aware of my blessings recently. In the amazingness of my family. In friendships I have. In my relationship with Josh. Just so many good things that I don't deserve. I am humbled. I am grateful. Thank you, Lord. You are here.

Today is the first day in the last eight that I've worn my winter coat.

It's also the first day in the last eight that I haven't worn sandals or flip flops.

Vacation is over, and winter is back.

Sigh...

• visit Target (it's just been awhile)
  
• lunch with ChaCha
• finish reading for Book Club
• coffee with J-La
• Book Club
• tons of laundry from my trip
• finish unpacking
• plan Valentine's gift for Josh
• figure out what to wear for Valentine's Day
• get groceries
  
• workout Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday
• photo shoot for work
• tidy up apartment
• mail birthday party invites
  
• pray (it's just been awhile)
  

Tonight I realized that in the last month alone I've been in SEVEN different airports.

I'm home now after a wonderful vacation in Austin & Dallas.

It feels good to be home.

To be back in my apartment, to be near family again, to be with Josh again.

While I had a GREAT time with my friends in Texas, it felt like I had left a part of my heart behind in Indiana.

I'm home, and I'm glad.

• Enjoying Dunkin' Donuts blueberry coffee with Josh. I find this article about their coffee and McDonald's McCafe coffee vs. Starbucks coffee absolutely fascinating.


• Loving my coffee grinder and Caribou coffee beans I got for Christmas.


• Saying goodbye to my favorite cafe, Bella Vita. I was very close to bawling.


• Being distracted.


• Trying and learning about all sorts of cheeses with Josh!


• Having fun with Roomie Sarah who was up for a weekend!


• Preparing for my trip to Texas!


• Hosting a really successful work meeting, even getting applause upon introducing myself, and then half-way into the meeting, discovering my zipper was down. Hmm, and right after cracking a joke to someone else about zippers. How ironic.


• Putting together crafty Christmas ornaments with Josh.


• Going to Rochester, IN for the first time.


• Being in a weight-loss contest at my gym and, unfortunately, gaining weight as I continue to work out 3 times a week.


• Accepting the fact that you crazy people picked "Thinnifer" as my new tag, even though I will never be "thin".


• Dealing with another car accident - still not my fault, still not bad, just a pain to deal with.


• Keeping my nails short.


• Wondering if I could pull off trendy black fingernail polish. It perplexes me, and I mock it, which is usually what I do right before I embrace a trend.


• Having breakfast with the mayor.


• Pondering if you can really label fruit and pastries as "breakfast." My vote is NO.


• Finally trying Uptown Kitchen - yum!


• Watching the Super Bowl with Josh.


• Rediscovering the benefits of napping.


• Getting some sweet clearance deals on clothes from Target and Kohl's!


• Sleeping in my own bed again (as opposed to my guest bed).


• Labeling, stamping, and stuffing envelopes.


• Realizing I need to dye my hair again.


• Learning more about myself with Josh.


• Meeting new people & growing professionally.


• Reading books.


• Using a pair of pliers for the first time to fix my suitcase that Northwest damaged.


• Thinking about my future with Josh.

A few weeks ago my awesome church gave me money.

What's that?

Yes, you heard correctly. My church gave me and the rest of the congregation money. That week's sermon was about having a spirit of generosity and about making investments in the kingdom. The pastor (with approval from the elders of course) took an entire week's worth of tithes/offerings that come into the church and gave it back to the church.

There were certain stipulations for use of the money. It wasn't for me to keep or to share with my family. It wasn't to be sent away to a televangelist, but rather to be kept within our community. And lastly, if we weren't comfortable with the challenge/responsibility, we were to just give it back to the church.

I immediately felt called to add from my own money to the money given from the church. I carried it around with me, trying to look for areas how/where I could use it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to buy things with it and give things or to just give the actual cash.

After awhile I switched purses and stopped carrying it around with me. I even forgot about it for awhile. This morning, though, I remembered and decided to start carrying it with me once again and to earnestly pray that God would show me what I should do with the money and how it could best be used.

That's the background info. Now here's the good stuff!

Tonight, after a wonderful evening in Elkhart, I was on my way back home just before 11, knowing I should stop for gas. I hate getting gas. Even more so in the dark and in the cold - brrr. But since I was on empty, I decided to suck it up and do it.

Immediately I was aware of a pickup truck I pulled up next to at the gas station I chose to go to on the south side. As I was getting my credit card ready, I noticed a man out my window a few feet back. He was trying to talk to me, and I actually really wanted to know what he had to say. I put my window down a bit, and he told me that he was trying to find a place to stay overnight and didn't have the funds to afford it, that he had a $10 lottery ticket he was trying to cash in, but the gas station's lotto ticket money thingie wasn't working currently or something (I don't really know lotto lingo).

He also told me my tire was low.

I told him to give me a second. I put my window up, shut off my car, and got the money out of my purse, along with a card that says this gift is our way of showing God's love to you and it lists our church information.

I got out of the car and said, "I have been praying for God to lead me to someone who could use this." I gave him the cash and the card and of course a smile.

He then told me how he had come to town from Florida for his 7 year old son's memorial service and how he couldn't afford to make it back to Florida now. He and his girlfriend of 25 years and his cousin were sleeping in his truck and doing odd jobs to try to afford a cheap room at the South Bend Motel.

He wasn't telling me a sob story. I had already given him money. He was sharing his story. I got gas and then he filled up all my tires with air (which was a real blessing for me!!). And then I offered to meet him at Wal-Mart around the corner so that I could get some groceries for him and his family. He was shocked and honored by my offer and tried repeatedly to find something he could do for me in return.

I told him I was doing this for him in Christ's love.

We shopped at Wal-Mart, picking up fruit, bread, lunchmeat, cheese, chips, root beer, Reese's PB Cups (I insisted, knowing his girlfriend would appreciate it!), and a hat and gloves for him to help stay warm.

As we shopped, he shared more of his story, talking about work he has done and how he has laid flooring in Dolly Parton's and Oprah Winfrey's homes. He talked about his family, saying how he was the youngest of 11 and that his dad died early on and his mom raised them all herself.

After we checked out, I felt led to give him some additional money to help with lodging.

As we walked out to his truck I told him I would keep him in my thoughts and prayers. I spoke specific prayers for him to feel God's blessing as he deals with the loss of his son. I could see so much hurt in his face. He also shared how heartbroken he was when his sister died.

This man needed to talk. He needed something different to have hope.

I share this story certainly not to toot my own horn. I write it to share with you how blessed I was to be apart of his story. How blessed I was to be used by God to bring a tiny bit of joy and hope to this man's life. Please pray with me for Bill! And please rejoice with me for this incredible opportunity I was able to be a part of!

I was never scared of him. Never worried. I knew God was with me, working through me. I knew this was the man I had been praying for.

[To hear other people's stories, read the comments at my pastor's original post about this opportunity here.]