It's been so long since I've written on this blog that I had to relearn where to go to compose a new post. I make no guarantees about the frequency of posting, but I have had a strong desire to write again so that's why I'm here.

Since you last heard from me, our family has had the exciting, overwhelming, terrifying, life-changing experience of becoming licensed foster parents!

Room for More - in our hearts & in our home

I truly feel it is an honor to get to do, and God is showing me how much I can be stretched because it is absolutely life altering. I'm extremely grateful for the amount of support we have from our church, our small group, our family and friends, and neighbors. We also have an amazing foster agency (National Youth Advocate Program), who without their support I would not - could not - do this journey.

We currently have three teen boys ages 14, 16, and 17. And we're thinking of adding another. Ha!

Our boys are very good boys, and I'm so grateful. We've had them with us almost two months now and haven't had any issues. Until this past weekend.

In the grand scheme of things, the issue that arose this weekend was very minute. However, because it was the first sort of problem, and my husband was gone when it happened, it fell on me and felt like a big deal to my sensitive soul.

Quite simply, it was some disobedience and backtalk. I deal with that sort of stuff on a regular basis with our 7 year-old bio daughter without it being any sort of problem for me. But I'm not used to dealing with it from teenage boys.

It left me broken.

It left me questioning my abilities. "Am I really cut out for this foster parenting stuff? Am I strong enough for this?"

It left me rethinking if I can handle adding a fourth teenage boy to the mix.

This morning, the first day of a new school week, I struggled to get motivated as I looked out the windows and saw an abundance of fresh snow falling onto the piles already accumulated. I checked my social media feed and started reading a friend's post:

Hey friends,

If you're following me on Instagram (and if you're not, you should), you may have seen me talk the other day on my InstaStory about getting to do little appreciation gifts for my daughter's teachers.

I thought I'd share here too in a more permanent place because teacher appreciation gifts seem to be something people are often wanting ideas on.

So, I'm a big fan of multi-packs of little notecards. I'll get them on clearance at TJ Maxx or from the Dollar Spot at Target or Dayspring has them at our local Christian bookstore. I can get an eight pack for $1. You can do blank notecards or thank you cards or even celebratory cards like "Hooray!" and add a note like "You survived another day!" or "It's Friday!"



I spent a couple years on a church team that ministered to a local elementary school, so I was used to making little teacher appreciation gifts for 60+ teachers and staff, so getting to focus now on my daughter's teachers is great. She has a teacher and a teacher's assistant in there full-time, so I'd doing gifts for both. Maybe that's because I used to work as a teacher's assistant, and I know we didn't receive a lot of attention or appreciation, so I have no problem including the assistant. I suppose if I'm feeling ambitious I could do an occasional little gift for her PE and music teachers, as well, but mainly I'm focusing on the people who work with my daughter every day.

At the beginning of the year I asked them both to fill out a form to help us get to know them better and to ask some of their favorites, for example, favorite drinks, favorite Bath & Body scents, birthday, etc. I also gave them a place to list anything that do have enough of/don't want more of, which surprisingly, they both left blank, ha!

This definitely gave me some good ideas for personalizing gifts! I am the kind of person who likes knowing I'm giving something that will be appreciated, so I plan to do this again for future teachers.

So, the other day I went to our local bakery, picked up a tray of discounted "day old" cookies, put a couple in little zipped baggies, wrote a brief note of thanks, and taped the card onto the baggie.


Wondering what to say to teachers? Here are some ideas...

• Thanks for all you do
• I appreciate your sacrifices
• Thank you for your hard work
• We're so grateful you're Catherine's teacher
• We appreciate you
• Have a great day/week/weekend/fall break
• It's Monday; you deserve a treat!

It doesn't need to be anything lengthy or fancy. Just express genuine gratitude. Speaking as a teacher's wife and a former educator, they do so much and receive so little in return, so anything I can give to them whether it be a cookie, a smile, a note of thanks, or a Starbucks gift card, I will take the time to do! I encourage you to, as well!

My only child started kindergarten this morning. These are the words I penned last night as thoughts poured out of my soul:

Tonight as I showered and blow dried my hair at 1 AM and put night time moisturizer on a face with tears streaming down my cheeks, I was reminded of two things as I prepare to do the oh so difficult task of sending my daughter off to school:

1) I was made to do hard things.

I was never promised a life free of hardships, challenges, and trials. In fact, it's the contrary. We are promised a life of trials and tribulations, pain, and heartache. But we are also promised that He will never leave our side throughout the trails. We are made to do hard things. And I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

2) This is a harder one to ponder. But, as I prepare to walk my five and half year old to school, I remember that she was never really mine to begin with. Yes, God gave her to us, and we thank Him every day for that. But we gave her back to Him - just minutes after her birth in the hospital recovery room, and a few months later when we stated publicly to our church family our intentions to raise her to follow the Lord, and every other night when I pray over her sleeping body in her bed before I collapse into my own after another long day of trying to do my best at motherhood.

So, that's it.

This is hard.

I had no idea how hard it would be (it seems I keep repeating this phrase over and over lately).

But I was made to do hard things.

And she was never really mine to begin with.

I give her back to God tomorrow and every day knowing His plans for her are far greater than I could ever dream and His love for her is far greater than I can ever imagine.

Thank you, Jesus!

1. I can't believe tomorrow is Catherine's last day of Pre-K.  I'm not ready for that reality.  Tonight we were writing thank you notes to her teachers.


I let her decide what she wants me to write on her behalf, but I ask questions to help guide her.  The best part was when I asked her, "What's something nice you can say about her?" and she responded, "That she likes me."  Ha!  Self confidence may be one of her strengths.

2. Another reality I'm not ready for:  we're moving!  Ack, it's blog official! We've only packed one box.  Somebody, help me!!  Any tips for packing for a move?!?

3.  Netflix has Party of Five.  Hello, 90's!  Bailey's rugby shirts, Claudia's baggy denim overalls, Julia's floral dresses, and Charlie's plaid shirts.  Ahhh, the season of grunge.  Oh, and the vests.  All the vests.

4.  I got a job.  Part-time nannying.  Little guy comes to our house, so that makes it manageable to still keep doing our normal-ish routine.


5.  I've been craving fruit salad for awhile.  I had some at my weekly moms' group, and I had some at a friend's brunch.  And it just made me want more.  This evening Josh went to the store and loaded up on a variety of fruit and made a big bowl of fruit salad just for me.


Of course then Catherine wanted some.  Then he was gracious enough to make me a grilled pbj, which Catherine also wanted some of.  She normally refuses to eat jelly, but she said she liked it and wanted a pbj in her lunch for her last day of school.  We'll see how that goes.

6.  It's no secret that I haven't been writing much here lately.  One of the reasons why is that I've felt my writing material wasn't "blog worthy."  For now I'm deciding to not care about that.  I'm getting past being concerned about my audience and what they want to read about.  I'm writing for myself right now.

Recently I attended a ladies' small group about encouragement.  Since I believe that to be one of my gifts and strengths, it definitely caught my attention.

For our closing session the other day, our leader Miss Kris opened her home up to us just like she had done for the five or so previous sessions.  We all brought food to share and ate dinner together while chatting and laughing and catching up.

Miss Kris said we all had to take a peek in each room of her house but wouldn't tell us why.  So we each dutifully did as we were told and waited to find out why.

After making sure we had all done our task, Miss Kris asked us to be brutally honest while we answered a few questions.



"Did any of you notice that I was dressed in an old, stained t-shirt and hadn't done my hair or put on any makeup?  Did it bother you?"

I had noticed the shirt but didn't think anything of it.

"Did any of you notice that I had dirty dishes in the sink?"

"Did anyone notice that my craft projects were all over the house?"

"Did you notice my bed wasn't made?"

"Did you notice the piles of laundry?  Was anybody bothered by that?"

"Did anybody notice that the bathroom mirrors were dirty?"

"Did any of you notice that my rugs were crooked and leaves had been tracked inside?"

"Did anybody notice my barking dog and all his toys throughout the house?"

Well, we noticed the barking.  That dog is a hard one to miss.

But beyond that we didn't notice or care about those things.  Comments were made that the house felt cozy.  It felt like Miss Kris.  We were just grateful that she had shared it with us.

My eyes teared up as Kris went through her list of questions.
The excuses that we use for not opening up our home.
The things we think others will notice and think less of us because of them.

Why is it we don't care about those things in others but we think others will look down on us if something isn't how we think it should be?  Why do we demand perfection from ourselves when we don't expect it from others?  Why do we show grace to others but not give grace to ourselves?

No one but myself is holding me to a standard of "Pinterest perfection".

In order to be an encouragement to others, you need to enter into relationship.
And in order to enter into relationship, you need to be comfortable enough to be you and to let others see who you really are.

Are you willing to allow others into your home?  Into your mess?  Into the real you?

I was so grateful for her real life example and thought you would be as well.

For the last couple years I've faced some pretty traumatic health issues.  I saw a doctor who ran all the tests, and all the tests came back normal.

I was literally told, "Just wait and see."

This year I saw a new doctor and got a referral to a specialist, whom I saw this week.

It was a very hard appointment for me.  I started crying just at the check-in desk and pretty much didn't stop the entire hour I was there.  A lot of emotions - nervousness, fear, anxiety, dread.  Honestly, it was just hard to bring all this back up again.

But this amazing doctor actually gave me a diagnosis.

And along with the diagnosis, he gave me back a whisper of hope.

The previous doctor had pretty much written me off.

And along with him, I had also written myself off.

This new diagnosis has a possible treatment.  It includes a medication with vicious side effects.  I've had just a glimpse, and it was brutal.

There's no easy solution.  And no guarantees.

But I have hope again.

And for that I am grateful.