Have you ever noticed how it seems cell phones have about a two year shelf life?  Ya know - the same length as most cell phone contracts.  I've noticed this a number of times when I was suddenly having cell phone issues.  Go in to the store, and guess what - I'm eligible for an upgrade - what perfect timing!

So, here's the strange thing:  my current cell phone has been with me longer than my 3 1/2 year old daughter!  I got it in December of 2010.  Over FOUR AND A HALF YEARS!


Oh, it's far from perfect!  In fact there have always been a number of very weird oddities about it, for example, freezing up or not turning off (seriously, I've had to remove the battery countless times just to get it to turn off at times).  But this sucker has been dropped (hard!) also countless times - and survived!

I've fought getting a smart phone for a long time.  I have a super sweet cell phone deal for non smart phones.  Like anytime my account gets looked up, the employee usually responds with, "Oh, wow, you got the XYZ plan!  No wonder you don't want to switch!"  But a few months ago I got word that I can still keep that awesome plan and just do an upgrade to a smart phone for an additional charge.

Our culture is becoming increasingly one that is geared for smart phones.  Without one, I'm missing out on coupons and discounts.  I'm often pestering Josh to look something up on his smart phone for me when we're out.  With it I'm able to access business phone numbers and hours, directions.  And probably the biggest plus for me personally is the high quality of the camera.  I LOVE to take pictures.  When we were on our Super Summer Family Road Trip last year I noticed his phone was taking better pictures than my camera.

So, I have decided that whenever this phone dies I will (gasp!) upgrade to a smart phone.

Now, how long til this Samsung Restore actually stops working for good??  You think it can last a full FIVE years?!?  We'll see!!

My first phone that slides open for easy texting!

I had been doing really well.



I had managed to detach myself from about 90% of Catherine's outgrown clothes sizes newborn through 3T.

We had 1.5 days of yard sales.

But sold very little of her clothing.

We found another bin.  "3-6 months" it was labeled.

Planning Round 2 of the yard sale, I started digging through it tonight.

Pricing.
Sorting.
Matching.
Tagging.

And suddenly I came across her "Miracle Swaddle".

And the tears just flooded out.

The hope has run out.

The ache has overwhelmed me tonight.

A week ago I was fine.  I was "in the zone".

I could - and did - rationally and unemotionally explain why it's best to get rid of all these items.  How maybe someday we can "parent" in non-traditional ways.  How if, by some slim chance, another child joins our family he or she may be older.  How the basic necessities are really quite minimal.  How we can borrow things if needed.  How it's freeing to allow ourselves to let go of these material items that hold us back and keep us in a waiting pattern.

A week ago my words prevailed.

But tonight the raw emotion wins.

Just for fun, some random things about me.  Maybe some you know, maybe some you don't.

1.  My favorite time is 12:34.
2.  My least favorite time is 12:35.
3.  I was born at 12:35 AM.
4. I think 4 is the ideal amount of children to have.
5. I can barely handle having 1 child.
6.  I'm not good with numbers.
7.  I don't like going a day without coffee.
8.  My husband and I went on two honeymoons.
9.  My husband and I had a science class together in college but didn't actually meet until years later via eharmony.  Crazy, huh?!
10.  I love Oriental food and grew up eating with chopsticks.
11. As a child, we had two different Asian students live with our family for awhile.
12.  One summer during college, I worked with foreign exchange students from China.
13.  I did 3 months of student teaching in Okinawa, Japan at the same school where my dad taught many years prior.
14.  I've never been stung by a bee.
15.  I've never been on a roller coaster.
16.  My memory is so bad I can usually watch a movie two or three times and still be surprised by the ending.
17.  Shakespeare makes me fall asleep.
18.  I wake up with a headache if I sleep in too much.
19.  I have a degree in Elementary Education.
20.  I rarely watch TV.
21.  I don't like mushrooms - taste OR texture!
22.  I wear makeup only a couple times a year.
23.  I can name all the Presidents in order.
24.  I have a collection of cookbooks but rarely cook.
25.  I'm 36 (I think - see #6 above), and I still don't know what to do with my life.

A few days prior, Josh asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day.

I was pleasantly surprised that he asked.  So, since he did, I answered:

1. I want to sleep in.
2. I want breakfast in bed.
3. I want a card that you put time and thought into.
4. I want a massage.
5. And when we go out with extended family for a celebratory lunch on Mother's Day, I don't want to sit next to my daughter.

"WHAT?" you may be asking, "You don't want to sit next to your daughter on Mother's Day??  Who says that?!"

I do.

When I am with my daughter (which is a great majority of my time), I am on duty.  I'm entertaining.  I'm answering questions.  I'm telling her to sit down.  I'm finding her cup.  I'm looking at the children's menu.  I'm cleaning up spills.  She's pulling on my hair, my arm, my shirt.  She's kissing my sleeve with a food covered face.  She's crawling in my lap.  She's tipping her chair.  She's dropping crayons.  She's drawing on the wall.  She's grabbing a knife.

The above is not an exaggeration.  It is the norm.

There's nothing relaxing about it.  It's stressful.  And exhausting.  And I wanted a break from it.

And, for the most part, I got what I asked for.

I didn't get to "sleep in" per se, but at least I wasn't the default to deal with a boisterous toddler at 7 in the morning.

Josh then had a little helper in the kitchen while he made coffee and crepes (YUM!) and served me in bed.

I received a meaningful card from hubby and a homemade card from Catherine, both very appropriate.

No word on the massage yet, but I'm ok with that, especially considering the cost.

And I got to spend most of our lunch three seats away from my daughter!  I got to enjoy eating my food on my own time table.  I got to have uninterrupted conversations with those around me, which is probably one of the greatest losses for me since having a child.  And I even managed to finish the meal without any food stains being added to my attire!

As an added bonus, I got flowers!




Thank you, Josh, for asking, for listening, and for all you did to grant my wishes and make me feel special.

I just opened up my laptop for the first time in three and a half days.

For me, THAT IS A BIG DEAL.

We spent a few days away.  It wasn't actually that far away.  But it was off the grid.

No wifi.  No internet.  No landline.  No cell service.

You could occasionally get a text message out or in if you so chose.  But I did not make that choice.

I was blissfully away.

And what did I miss?

Apparently there was a local earthquake.
And Princess Kate had her baby.

Anything else?

Um...

I'm not sure.  I haven't yet searched any news sites.
Or my newsfeed.
Still living blissfully.
Not ready to get back on the grid.

Even my fitbit battery died overnight, so I've been fitbit free today.

Maybe it's ok to be disconnected.

Off and on for the last few months I've contemplated canceling our internet service.

It's continually increasing in price and decreasing in speed - or so it seems.

We live in a technologically driven culture.  But that doesn't have to be the way I choose to live my life.

Unfortunately, if it's there, it's my default.
And I tend to just consume so much when I'm open to it.
We tend to be so wrapped up in what's going on online and miss what's going on in front of us.

What's more important:  what the proverbial Jones are doing and posting or what my three year old daughter is doing and saying and observing and interpreting?

I briefly checked facebook this afternoon to check on a friend who was in the hospital recently.  In the two minutes or so that I was online I happened to see a friend lamenting how the whole Star Ways Day posts ("May the Fourth be with you") were getting old.  And I blissfully realized I hadn't seen anything about it.

You can avoid a lot by staying off the grid.
You can gain a lot by staying off the grid.

This man.



Husband.

Hard worker.

Dedicated teacher.

Life changer.

Hope giver.

Encourager.

He directed two middle school musicals this past weekend.  This photo was taken between the two.


This is his 8th musical in the last 9 years (wisely, he took a season off the year Catherine joined our family).

It was a long season of seemingly endless and increasingly long rehearsals.  It was hard to get through it.  Hard for all of us.

When the finish line was in sight I asked him, "Could you at least take a day off work after this is all over?"  But do you know what my husband is doing with his "day off" this week?  And his "free" periods over many days.  And his before school time...

He's voluntarily going to all the music classes for all the 5th grades of all the elementary schools in town.  He's basically giving his best sales pitch on why middle school choir rocks in the hopes of recruiting for next year.

He's using his free time and vacation time to do more work.  Going above and beyond.  Reaching well past minimum requirements.  Giving extra effort and superior excellence.

My husband.

Sure, he drives me crazy.  Trust me, not every day is peachy.  Marriage is HARD.

But I snagged a good one.  And I'm not letting go.

Josh is on Spring Break.

We spent yesterday at his folks, today at my folks along with my brother and his family.  Catherine got to do an Easter egg hunt with her cousins at my parents' church.

 

 
Tomorrow is breakfast and Easter service at our church.  Josh will help make the breakfast with other men at the church.

After church we are hosting "Easter Breakfast" - for lunch.  I will throw together a fruit salad.  We'll have an egg casserole, and the traditional Slovenian dishes from my husband's side of the family:  a sweet bread called poteca:

Our first loaf of poteca, so long ago

And a platter with cold hard boiled eggs, ham, kielbasa and horseradish.  Unique, huh?  As far as I know it doesn't have a name, so we just call it "Easter breakfast."

My first introduction to his extended family was Easter up North six years ago I believe (I'm not too good with dates and numbers and particulars).  I was asked if I wanted horseradish on my serving of "Easter breakfast".  I said, "Sure" and there was an immediate uproar of joyous acceptance into the family.

Our first Easter together

There will be horseradish tomorrow.